


The daugther of the High Lord of the Night Court

by shieraseastar03



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Drama, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mating Bond, Psychological Torture, Scars, Under the Mountain - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 10:10:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 34,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19423840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shieraseastar03/pseuds/shieraseastar03
Summary: Being mated to my father's worst enemy was a nightmare I never dreamed of. As the daugther of the High Lord of the Night Court, I was born to receive my father's enemies. Many enemies that would see me dead to get to the powerful High Lord. Imagine when one of those enemies, was my mate. My name is Rhea, and I am the mate of the High Lord of the Spring Court. My father's worst enemy.





	1. Chapter 1

## 34 Years Ago....Under the Mountain

**_Rhysand_ **

It was all his fault.

The screams of agony coming from the cold dungeon ripped through him, creating holes through the barrier he had created to prevent his feelings from coming out. His blood still trickled down his back, Rhysand could feel the slashes from Amarantha’s whip still weren’t healing but they did not matter. The female down in the dungeons who was about to give birth to his child mattered.

The shadows curled around his hands as his fury rose and his terror for the fragile female took over. She wouldn’t be able to handle the torture that Amarantha would bestow upon her for sleeping with him. For betraying Amarantha, they would both suffer, but Rhysand could take the punishment. Dekara couldn’t. She was already too weak from being starved. How would she give birth, and survive the merciless might of the bitch he hated the most?

Rhysand let his Fae ears reach out and heard the conversation down below.

“I can’t push anymore! I cannot! I’m too tired!”

“You need to push, or the child will die, miss!”

“If I give birth, my child will suffer by Amarantha! I won’t subject my child to that monster!”

Rhysand had heard enough. He was immediately pushing past the guards, heading down the cold stone steps to the dungeons. The guards didn’t bother to stop him. They had orders from Amarantha herself that if he went down to comfort Dekara, they would report to her straight away. Rhysand could hear the footsteps of the guards as they went to tell her about his actions.

_Damn them. Damn them all. One day I will rip her head from her shoulders and go back to Velaris to Mor, Azriel, Cassian and even goddamn Amren._

Rhysand let his power slam into the gate and it flew off its hinges and crashed into the wall. The screaming got louder and Rhysand ran into one of the dungeons.

Dekara was sitting against the wall, the healer telling her to push but Dekara for all her worth was holding back the terrible pains. Her pale face that was soaked in sweat, the shackles around her wrists and ankles, her torn and filthy dress that had blood staining it. A pool of blood was slowly spreading on the stone ground and Dekara screamed as another wave of agony swept through her.

_This is all my fault._

Rhysand bent down beside Dekara and gripped her hand. Her eyes flew open and focused on him, her breath ragged. “Rhys” she gasped and squeezed his hand as pain flooded her body once more. “She needs to push!” snapped the healer and Rhysand turned back to Dekara. “Listen to me, Dekara. I promise you I will protect our child no matter the cost. I will never forgive myself for what will happen tonight, but Amarantha will kill you. If you do not push, the baby will die and so will you.”

“Rhys...” her voice broke and Rhysand felt his heart split in half. _This is my fault. This is my fault. This is my fault. This is my fault. I should be the one to die tonight not Dekara._

“Take care of my baby” she sobbed and Rhysand stroked her cheek as she pushed with all her strength. His eyes closed, feeling tears he thought had long disappeared from his eyes threaten to fall. Shadows wrapped around Dekara, enveloping her slight body as the cries of a new-born filled the dungeons. “Please” whispered Dekara and Rhysand let his eyes follow to her hand, her fingers tapping at her chest. “Don’t let her get to me. Please, let me die here.”

“What fun would that be?” purred a familiar voice and Rhysand turned, eyes turning to ice, as he looked upon Amarantha, surrounded by her guards. Rhysand looked upon Dekara, the female who had shied away from him so much, scared about what Amarantha would do if she bedded her whore. Those ice blue eyes, once full of shyness, now full of terror and they bored into his corrupted soul and he knew what she was asking of him. To end her life before Amarantha could lay a finger on her.

Rhysand gave a slight tilt of his head towards her, ready to end her suffering when Amarantha would leave them alone. The baby still screamed and screamed and Rhysand looked up as the midwife was about to hand _his child_ to that bitch with the red hair. That face who took place in his many nightmares, the one who made him endure hell for the people he loved.

“Touch my child” he snarled, and even the midwife paused, “and I will rip your mind apart, Amarantha!”

The shadows curled around his child and brought it into his arms and snarls ripped from him at the thought of Amarantha hurting his child. Rhysand looked down at his child, a female, he realised and realised his atrocious act. He had sired an innocent child into the world where a monster controlled him. Rhysand bent by Dekara and handed his daughter to her. A chance to hold her child before he took her life. Amarantha noticed and she laughed, a laugh full of cruelty.

“Rhys, all this is your fault” she took a step forward and Rhysand growled but Amarantha wasn’t fazed. Power slammed into him and Rhysand crashed into the far wall. His head cracked against the wall, and Rhysand groaned, his vision blurry. There was the clacking of chains, then they bound his arms behind his back and Rhysand felt his powers weaken as he struggled to regain his sight.

“Get away from her!” screamed a female voice and there was the sound of a baby screaming and familiar laughter, a sound he could never erase from his mind. Hands hauled him up and his vision cleared to see Amarantha standing before him. “Oh how I’m going to enjoy punishing you” she purred, her nails slicing across his throat. “But first I’m going to have my fun with your _whore.”_

Rhysand was dragged out of the dungeon, roaring, as the sounds of his lovers screams of agony filled the air once more.


	2. 15 Years Later

**_Rhea_ **

The sound of roaring filled my Fae ears and I blocked out it out, the sounds hurting my too sensitive ears. The room that had been my hell for the past fifteen years of my life was always in darkness thanks to the iron mask that covered my face. Iron chains bound around my waist and arms, restricting my access around the room had dampened my powers for as long as I could remember. I could only see one person every week, when she had entered my mind, filling my thoughts with her malicious thoughts, her memories mingling with mine. Her face was always in my mind and her name. A name I hated more than the room itself.

_Amarantha._

There was a male who visited me, one with a smooth voice who told me he was my father. His tears, his voice breaking as he told me of my mother, of the woman who had kept me a prisoner for years on end for her own gain. He had tried to project himself into my mind but when I begged him not to, not able to allow someone else into my mind like the savage female who tortured me. He had respected my decision, not pushing it.

_Rhys._

My fathers name. A name I would never let Amarantha banish from my mind for one of her games. She hadn’t visited me in a while, something I was immensely relieved of. The fae-bane whip she used on me, her claws digging into my skin and then raking down my skin until I screamed. My wings, now ruined according to Amarantha and Rhys, when Amarantha had set them on fire repeatedly, burning the feathers and flesh until I nearly screamed the mountain down.

The day after when my father had come in and had roared. Falling to the ground and had held me, his tears stinging my open wounds, but I hadn’t cried. I hadn’t cried since I was seven years old. And I had no intention of ever letting Amarantha have that satisfaction of knowing I cried. When she told me repeatedly that I was a prisoner because of my father’s actions, that everything that happened to me, the whipping, the fire, the starvation, the isolation, was all because of him.

I didn’t know what to think but I knew I would never blame my father. I had never laid eyes on him before, but I knew he was a good male. He couldn’t protect me, something Amarantha had made clear to me regularly.

The air was cold against my body. Rags of old clothes barely covered me and were soaked in blood. I wasn’t allowed blankets or new clothes, nothing. The roaring got louder, and I hissed. What was with all the noise? Did Amarantha find another play thing? I felt pity for the poor creature that now suffered by her hands. Was she doing to the poor thing, that she did to me? Or was she inflicting new methods?

I focused my Fae hearing and almost recoiled. There was a female screaming and I could hear Amarantha’s voice. It was faint, but I could pick her voice out of a crowd of a city.

A splitting headache came on and I shut out the noises, groaning. The iron mask over my face was hard to breathe in sometimes and it was also too tight around my throat. It went all over my face and the back of my head, trapping my hair inside it, and went down my throat.

_“I keep a mask on you, so no one will ever have to see how ugly you are. You are not worth looking at, you don’t even deserve to be alive, you are only alive by my decreed.”_

Amarantha’s cruel words were a constant reminder of who and what I was. I was nothing, nothing more than dirt. I didn’t deserve to live, that I deserve every whipping, burning, and horrific torture she could conjure.

_“Do not let her win. Ever. You are strong, stronger than me. You can beat Amarantha.”_

My father was wrong. Amarantha had won a long time ago.

* * *

The noise had gotten louder and then it had continued for a while and I felt at peace. Nobody was bothering me, but it was getting colder and colder. I had to admit I was curious to what was happening, but the noise was too strong for my sensitive hearing. Sudden sharp noises like a door banging. My head raised, as I could hear footsteps. The door opened, and someone walked in. There was no swishing of dress material, so it wasn’t Amarantha. And father would have told me when he walked in... who was it?

I kept quiet as cold hands gripped my arm and suddenly the chains there fell. I stood still as the chains dropped my other arm, my waist, legs and then hands gripped the mask and searing heat shot through the mask and my back arched, my hands scrabbling, and met soft material. There was a clicking sound and the mask was pulled off and I opened my eyes.

The room was dimly lit but the light still hurt my eyes and I immediately shut them, groaning. Something warm and soft wrapped around me and I was lifted, hearing a low grunt. I tried opening my eyes again, and the light stung but it wasn’t as bad as before.

I looked up and my vision was a bit blurry, but I saw a male. A male with red hair and sort of yellow eyes. He looked down at me and I forced myself to speak. “Who are you?” I whispered, my voice low and hoarse. He started walking out, still carrying me. The outside of the room was stone lit with torches and he went up steps and the lights got brighter so I shut my eyes. Who was he? Where was he taking me?

“My name is Eris” he replied and carried me out.


	3. 5 Years Later after Under the Mountain

_**Rhysand** _

“Rhys, we have a problem.”

Rhysand looked around to see Azriel standing there, and Rhys’s eyes widened. Azriel’s clothes were torn and bloody and there was a deep slash going down the right side of his face. His wings were out and the left one looked like a sword had sliced through it. Azriel’s eyes though betrayed no hint of pain, his face devoid of emotion. “Az, what happened?” asked Rhys, eyes flickering over Azriel’s form, looking for any more injuries.

“I was sparring, it does not matter. A female is requesting an audience with you she says she is from a village in the mountains and they’ve been attacked.”

Rhys finished the drink he was holding and followed Azriel out of the townhouse and into the streets of Velaris, where children played and there was the sound of laughter. Rhys saw Mor and Amren with a group of females, sending them into a tavern. Azriel headed in their direction and Rhys followed.

“They claim they’ve been attacked by rogue Illyrians, and some of them have been taken as prisoners” continued Azriel, dodging a small blonde girl who shrieked at the sight of Rhys and ran off shouting, “High Lord!” and Rhys fought back a smile. They reached the stone tavern and Azriel slammed the door open with his fist and Rhys was surprised to see the tavern was empty. The tables usually had males around it, with tankards in hand but it was empty except for the barmaid who was washing the ground. She bowed respectfully to Rhys, something he didn’t expect from his people, but he knew they did it out of respect for him, so he smiled at her. “They went upstairs my lord” she told him and then added, “would one of you want something to drink or eat? Would you like bandages for those wounds?”

Azriel shook his head. “They’re fine, thank you.”

“No thank you miss” said Rhys, “have a nice day” Rhys went up the wooden stairs and Azriel followed him. The stairs creaked and as they went further up the stairs, Rhys could smell ale and a sweet smell, most likely a scent used desperately to get rid of the ale smell. The barmaid had looked tired and weary and had still respected him, something he knew, not many did anymore.

The sound of females crying came from the room to the right and Rhys pushed the door open.

Amren and Mor were sitting on a bed, six females sitting on either chairs or on the floor. Their clothes were muddied and torn and one of the females had the ends of her dress singed, like she had gone through fire. Some of them had torn their dresses as make-shift bandages.

“Rhys, Azriel, we have a problem” said Amren, who was cutting up proper bandages and there was a bowel of boiling water.

“What is the problem?” asked Rhys, noticing then how the females looked terrified of Azriel and him. Rhys sat down on the edge of the bed and saw Azriel had retracted his wings, but he still looked terrifying as usual. “Don’t mind him” added Rhys, gesturing towards Azriel, “he looks scary as fuck but he’s like a puppy.”

A female who looked to be around fifteen years of age let out a giggle then it disappeared. Azriel shot Rhys a look but he shrugged it away. If the females were frightened of males, it made him sure of what exactly had happened.

“A few days ago, my lord” started a dark-haired female with a deep cut across her throat, “a band of Illyrians attacked our sanctuary, it’s a safe place from males, and they burned it down to the ground to lure us out. They-they attacked us and -and took females as prisoners and said we’d never see them again. Only the six of us managed to escape and the rest at the camp they forced-forced themselves upon” the female stuttered a few times and tears shone in her eyes and Rhys felt anger.

“Where is your sanctuary located?” questioned Azriel, his voice cold. A blonde-haired female answered. “The mountains to the blue oceans. A day’s walk. We came here to beg our lord to rescue our sisters. We...we are not strong enough to get them back!”

Mor laid a hand on the female’s shoulder and murmured comforting words but the female didn’t calm down. The female threw herself down at Rhys’s feet, startling him. “Please my lord” she begged, tears falling on to the wooden floor, her head bowed, “please help our sisters, many are children. Please-”

Rhys put a hand on the female’s back, leaning forward. “I swear to all of you” promised Rhys, his voice laced with the deadly intent towards the rogue Illyrian males, “I will personally hunt the Illyrians down and save your sisters and deliver punishment unto them. My library is a sanctuary for females from males. You are all welcome to stay there, for as long as you need and when we find your sisters, you are all welcome to come live in Velaris.”

The female looked up at him, gratitude in her eyes. “Thank you thank you thank you!” she scrambled away quickly then, as if realising her close proximity to him. Rhys stood, and the females watched him warily.

There was a knock at the door and then the barmaid came in, carrying cut up bandages and glasses and a jug of water. Rhys took the jug of water from her and placed it on the bed-side table and the females reached forward and took more bandages.

“How much room do you have here?” asked Rhys and the barmaid turned to face him. “I can fit them in for tonight but tomorrow and the days after are booked” she replied, and Rhys nodded and turned to face the females. “You can stay here for tonight, all charges will be paid by me, anything you want, take it. Tomorrow, permanent arrangements will be made by then.”

The females thanked him and then Rhys got up to leave, knowing him and Azriel made the females uncomfortable and went to leave when one of the females spoke up.

“There was something I heard my lord...from the Illyrians.” Rhys turned, frowning. “What did you hear?”

The female swallowed, looking nervous. “They were talking about a female from the Night Court living in the Autumn Court who is the ward of Eris Vanserra, who killed his father a few days ago. The news has been contained but his brothers have gone missing, presumed dead. The Illyrians were saying they would go join the Autumn Court now, since Eris Vanserra is High Lord. And rumor has it, he will marry the female to join both courts as she is High Fae.”

“A female from the Night Court is living in the Autumn Court?” questioned Mor, looking doubtful. The female nodded vigorously. “Her name is Rhea.”

All the blood drained from Rhys’s face.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Rhea_ **

The shadows curled around my hand, like a glove, constantly moving, the coldness of the shadows harsh against my warm skin. I focused on the shadows, willing them to draw away, trying to control them but they suddenly lashed out against me and I put all my willpower into controlling them. “Don’t tire yourself, Rhea” warned Eris from the far side of the room, watching me intently and my eyes flickered over to him and a smile grew on his lips. “Well it seems I’m a necessity here.”

I looked back at the shadows. They had formed into a black rose, the shape I had wanted them to take. Shadows writhed against my hands and I flung them out and the shadow-rose was shredded apart.

“It’s getting easier, but I have no experienced teacher” I said, standing up and going over to the fountain and with a flick of my hand, the shadows formed a small glass and I held the glass under the fountain and then drank the cool water, not impressed by what I had managed today. Hands on my waist, warm breath against my cheek. “You did brilliantly” murmured Eris and kissed my cheek and I leaned back into his touch. “I still can’t control the shadow, it’s getting too hard...I need a trained shadow-singer to train me.”

Eris turned me around, those amber eyes fixed on me. Only a few days ago had he become High Lord and he was still trying to convince me into marrying him. I was only twenty years old. Did I really want to get married so young? I knew Eris also had reasons for marrying me. He wanted the Night, Winter and Autumn Court to join in alliance. My mother, who had been of the Winter Court and had been with my father, Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court.

“The only shadow-singers I have heard of” said Eris, stroking my black-blue hair gently, looking into my ice blue eyes, eyes that came from the Winter Court, “is of Azriel, your father’s shadow-singer and you. Shadow-singers are very rare but when they are found” Eris kissed me softly, “they are treasured and coveted by their High Lords.”

I pulled away, not in the mood for his display of affection. Eris had only become more affectionate after he killed his father, not needing to keep up the merciless bastard act. But I knew he was desperate to set down an alliance between my family courts as I was High Fae.

“My lord?”

Eris turned around, a servant standing at the door, her head bowed. “What is it?” he snapped, and the girl answered, “the High Lord of the Night Court is here, requesting your presence and that of...Miss Rhea.” I took a step forward, but Eris grabbed me by the arm. “You’re not going out there” he hissed and winced when his hand started to ice over. “Rhea, he will try to take you away from me...Rhea, love, your hurting me.”

“I want to see my father” I demanded, eyes flashing as my power defended me. Eris frowned, anger in his amber eyes, “he will take you away from me. You are going to be my wife, you can’t leave.” I pulled out of his grip, shadows dancing around me, “you can’t tell me what to do!” I snarled, desperate to see my father and I walked away, ignoring Eris ordering me to stop.

I haven’t heard my father’s voice in over three years. I wanted to see him, I _needed_ to. The questions I had for him, what happened to my mother, why he never looked for me, why I had the powers I did and didn’t have an idea on how to control them.

If he had a shadow-singer in his court...maybe he could teach me. The amount of people I nearly hurt with my monstrous powers. I hadn’t felt them in the dark room Amarantha had kept me in. The chains she had kept me in had robbed me of all magic.

“Where is he?” I asked the servant who pointed towards a room, looking scared of the shadows around me. I didn’t blame her. I was equally as scared shitless as she was of them.

I went into the room and stopped.

Three males and three females stood there, one of them, I knew from the pictures he had put into my mind for years, so I wouldn’t forget his face.

A male of blue-black hair and violet eyes. Handsome, lean built with muscles, dressed in the Night Court attire. He turned to look at me and I froze at seeing his eyes widen, emotions flicker across his face as he said my name.

_“Rhea.”_

I turned into shadows, flying across the room and tackled my father, transforming back into my Fae form as I wrapped my arms around him, never wanting to let him go.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Rhysand_ **

Five years.

Five fucking years since he last saw her.

Rhea was hugging him, nearly breaking all the bones in his back but he hugged her back with as much strength, tears slipping from his eyes as he held his daughter, never wanting to let go of her again. The last time he had seen her...chained, bloodied, so many scars crossed her body, her body had been starved, her bones jutting out, her skin so pale it had been transparent, her veins showing, no light allowed in the room, so she would always be in darkness. The iron mask over her face so he couldn’t know what she looked like.

_He had left her like that._

Rhys had gone back after Amarantha’s death, looking for her but the door had been wide open, the chains and mask broken, no sign of her. He had searched, but no sign of her.

_Because Eris Vanserra had her._

_Eris._

Rhys realised Rhea was also crying, tears soaking his shirt, as his tears soaked her dress. Her body was so fragile and petite from years of starvation and malnutrition, but she had gained weight, but he didn’t like it one bit. She was far too skinny still.

_He’d fucking rip Eris apart._

Rhys pulled back, cupping Rhea’s face with his hands. Her identical blue-black hair she had inherited from him, those icy blue eyes, from Dekara, her mother, her skin was a bit too pale for his concerns and he wanted nothing more to grab her and bring her back to Velaris and sit her out in the sun until she’d tan.

_Fuck, I sound like an overprotective mother hen._

Rhys didn’t care though. He hadn’t seen his daughter in five years, hadn’t seen her face for twenty, except for those split seconds when he had witnessed Dekara giving birth to Rhea and when Amarantha had him dragged out, hearing Dekara’s screams of agony as Amarantha punished her for Rhys’s sin.

Rhea was beautiful, too skinny for his liking, but he’d have to find a way to get food into her. Strengthen her up with training, get her out for walks in the Velaris sun.

“Father” sobbed Rhea and he hugged her tightly again, breathing in her scent. She was real, she was real, and he was holding her.

“Rhea” he murmured, trying to stop the tears but they kept on falling, the shoulder of her dress soaked in tears.

“Do we all get a turn with her?” asked a voice, Mor, he recognised it and he let out a sob and pulled away, kissing Rhea on the forehead, “you’re real.”

“I hope so” laughed Rhea, using her sleeve to wipe away her tears, her voice shaky. Rhys found he didn’t want to let her go, but he pulled away and Mor enveloped Rhea in a hug, catching her by surprise. “Hello” said Rhea, hesitantly, looking at Rhys, eyes full of bewilderment and he laughed. “My cousin, Mor, “he explained, and Rhea nodded, hugging her back.

Rhys saw Eris standing in the corner, looking livid and he snarled. He had hidden his daughter from him on purpose. Had made him think Rhea wanted nothing to do with him.

_That fucking bastard! He’d rip him apart!_

Rhys was across the room in an instant, his hand around Eris’s throat, driving him into the wall, roaring. “You hid her away from me!” he roared, shadows curling around him as he choked the High Lord of the Autumn Court. Flames burnt him, ravaged his arms and shoulders and then Eris twisted out of Rhys’s grip and then the two High Lords were fighting, punches, kicks, and then Rhys caught hold of Eris and slammed him into the floor, claws out, ready to rip Eris’s throat out.

_“No!”_

Rhys turned to look at Rhea, who looked horrified, scared as she threw herself at Rhys, eyes wide. “He saved my life, I owe him, please don’t kill him just yet.” Eris let out a noise of disbelief and Rhea shot him a look. Rhys regained control, breathing heavily, wanting nothing more than to rip Eris’s throat out. Mor would join in as well, as would Azriel and Cassian and Feyre and Amren...

“Eris, leave now” said Rhea, looking back at him and his amber eyes narrowed, and Rhys snarled. “Eris, please.”

Eris got up and left, looking pissed.

_Good._

“How did you know where to find me?” asked Rhea and Rhys focused his attention back on her. Her face was flushed, her eyes bright. “Illyrians were talking” answered Azriel, and Rhea turned to look at him, then something like amazement crossed her face as she walked across the room to Azriel, who watched her, curious as she stopped merely centimetres away from him. Her hand reached up and stroked his face and Azriel’s eyes widened.

“The shadows whispered to me about a male with the power of the shadows who would become my bane” murmured Rhea, and Azriel stared down at her, tilting his head a fraction. “You’re a shadow-singer” whispered Azriel, something entering his eyes, and everyone watched them, two shadow-singers facing each other. Shadows flickered around Azriel and Rhea closed her eyes, and suddenly shadows darted around her.

Rhea stepped away, her hand leaving Azriel’s face. “You are not my bane” she announced and Amren stepped up to her, surveying Rhea. Rhys watched them warily, wondering how the two of them would fair.

“You are a curious creature” was the only thing Amren said, looking at Rhea with curiosity. Rhea tilted her head, looking up at Amren. “You have very strange eyes. They suit your personality.”

Silence.

Then Amren laughed.

“I like you” she said, and then Feyre stepped up, eyes taking in the small female. Rhys smiled at the sight. “You look like Rhys” she murmured, and Rhea huffed. “I get my gorgeous genes from him.” Cassian laughed, and Rhea eyed him. “So your Cassian. I’ve heard all about you.” Cassian stepped up, eyes dancing with mischief and Rhys wondered how Rhea would handle Cassian’s personality. “Do I live up to your expectations?”

Rhea stepped up to him, the tiny female barely reaching Cassian’s shoulders. “I thought you be taller. Your quite small.” Cassian looked down at Rhea. “Your one to talk about being small.”

Rhea’s eyes whirled violet and then returned to that ice blue. Rhys raised an eyebrow at that. Quite a trick. “Yeah but I can pull off being small.”

Feyre looked at Rhys, eyes wide. “Can we keep her?”


	6. Chapter 6

**_Rhea_ **

I had finally seen him again. Three years ago, my father had come to the Autumn Court, to talk with Beron. I had seen him for a split second, and then he had winnowed away. And now I was reunited with him.

Eris wouldn’t look at me or even talk to me, refusing to acknowledge my presence. He was furious I knew, that he was cheated out of me wedding him, having an alliance through the Night and Winter Courts. I knew Eris cared for me in his own way, but his desire to be a powerful High Lord overpowered his fondness for me. Eris had rescued me from Under the Mountain, cared for me, but I didn’t love him, I just had an affection for him. I wasn’t ever going to marry him just, so he could be more powerful, and I didn’t feel strong feelings for him…

My father wouldn’t leave my side. I didn’t blame him, I didn’t want to leave him out of my sight as well. He was the only blood family I had left. And he was quite…charming. Feyre, his mate, my family now as well, was in love with him, they were both in love and it made me smile to see them together.

His court was a tad strange though. The silver-eyed female called Amren who had eyed me like a creature she hadn’t come across before when she had first seen me. Azriel, the handsome shadow-singer who let the shadows consume him always. Cassian, the troublemaker who seemed to have made it his life mission to annoy me to hell. Feyre, a High Lady, with the power of all the High Lords at her fingertips.

My father had already asked me to come back with him, to his court, eyes full of pleading, wanting to get to know me more.

I leaned against the wooden table with my mirror, looking into my reflection. I was still pale, my ice blue eyes and blue-black hair quite a mystery but I loved them. I slipped my dress to the ground, letting it fall to a heap at my feet, looking at my scarred body.

The scars and burns that covered my body were brutal, something I had never shown anybody, not even Eris. I was too humiliated by them to show anyone. My wings, also mutilated, I hadn’t taken out since the night Eris had rescued me. When I had looked in the mirror, my wings, scarred, feathers burnt, those words Amarantha had carved into my wings, permanently scarred my wings for the rest of eternity.

I blocked out the shadows whispering to me, a distressed shriek escaping my throat as the shadows writhed around me.

_The faebane whip, cutting through my skin, my screams filling the air, I could hear Amarantha laughing as the whip sang through the air once more, finding my shoulder, blood spurting out. My screams full of pain, I could hear Amarantha walking forward, I could feel heat at my back, against my wings, which she had forced me to take out, an iron spear running through them, keeping them together._

_“Such pretty wings” purred Amarantha, her breath against my ear, her claws cutting through my cheekbone, “Scream for me, you bastard-born.”_

_The fire lowered to my wings._

Screams tore through me at the memory, I fell to my knees, my thoughts being taken over by the whispering shadows, ice freezing over the floor as my breathing grew ragged, eyes wide.

_The fire licking at my wings, then the fire consumed them…_

Crashes against the door, shouting, the voices I couldn’t identify them as the shadows writhed around me, covering me as I screamed.

I stumbled to my feet, snarling, whimpering, screams tearing through my throat as I stumbled for the window, the shadows crashing through the window, glass breaking. I went through it, not feeling the pain of the glass cutting through my skin.

_Amarantha’s dagger slicing through my skin, her laugh, her voice that was forever branded into my mind…_

_The darkness…the terror…unable to breathe…unable to move…_

I turned into shadows, racing through the forest, consumed by my own fears.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Rhea_ **

I spent the whole night in the Autumn Court forest, wrapped in shadows, unable to go back, not wanting to face anyone. I slept in an old tree, with old claw marks etched deep into its trunk, and I wondered what creatures roamed the forest. The night had been cold, but I had gone through worse, so I wrapped myself in shadows and sang quietly to myself until I no longer saw Amarantha in my mind.

I knelt by the lake, scooping up water in my hands to drink from, my throat hoarse from my screams. My body was naked, and I was trying to manipulate the shadows into clothes which was proving far more difficult than I thought. Keeping the shadows still, weaving them into material…

Well I wasn’t going back naked.

A small smile formed on my lips at the image of prancing into the Autumn Court, naked. Well Eris would definitely have something to say about that.

Ì went into the lake, the water cool, washing away all the dirt on my body from the tree and a slight mishap with the ground when I got startled by a bird.

There was a slight rustling of leaves and I stiffened, turning into shadows and went over to the spot, shadows forming back into my Fae body. I looked at a surprised big animal with black fur and strange reptilian eyes. It looked even more startled to see a naked Fae there.

“Don’t even think of trying to make me into breakfast” I warned it and it growled, and I let out my own snarl and it backed away, growling but went off into the forest.

Well at least it didn’t turn out to be my breakfast. It was far too adorable in my eyes, even when you’d get past the fangs, sharp claws and the growling.

I walked for a bit, keeping my eyes out for the creature in case it came back for breakfast, deep in thought. How would I ever get anywhere if I kept on getting caught up in my memories of Under the Mountain. My entire childhood had been spent down there, trapped, tortured, kept in darkness. I couldn’t even control my own powers.

Why would Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court, accept me as his flesh and blood daughter when I such a disgrace?

My Fae hearing picked up on something and I tilted my head, closing my eyes, listening in.

_“Fuck!”_

I let out a laugh at that, listening in more.

_“Is someone there? For fuck’s sake I’m going to drown! I need help!”_

Well someone sounded like an epic prick.

Well if it was someone from the Autumn Court…Eris wouldn’t appreciate me leaving the poor soul to die. I tried harder at the shadow clothes, trying to picture them as clothes and swore. It was even harder than trying to cook. I turned into shadows, following the prick’s voice, shadows filling my mind with thoughts that I blocked out. I didn’t need to know things that other people didn’t know. I would have been happier not being a shadow-singer. Was it just something that happened? Or did the shadows choose you?

Life’s great mysteries.

I came to a waterfall, the rushing water loud to my ears. My eyes darted around, searching for the voice.

_“My leg is stuck! Come on, I need help!”_

First off: did I want to help such a prick?

I focused on the shadow- clothes, trying with all my might. If only the Autumn Court hid clothes around the forest. I doubted though that the whole Autumn Court found themselves naked in the forest. I looked down at myself and saw a black dress, completely made of shadows and very, very uncomfortable. The shadows moved around my body, exposing skin for mere seconds and then the shadows covered the skin.

Well it would have to do.

I went up the rocky path, admiring the crystal-clear water. The waterfall was quite beautiful, the water flowing rapidly. Beautiful yet deadly.

I saw the male.

My eyebrows raised.

What the fuck?

It looked like he had been climbing when he had fallen, as he was upside down in the air, his right leg wedged in a rock, dangling over the waterfall. He wore black clothing, a sword dangling from his waist belt. His hood had fallen, his long golden hair visible. He was well tanned, built in muscle.

How the hell did he get trapped up there?

I walked along the path until I got closer to him. He must have been climbing the waterfall for some idiotic reason, and his foot slipped into the groove and his weight got thrown backwards.

Who the hell could manage that?

“I bet right now you’re thinking how much of an idiot you are” I called out and his head snapped in my direction. He was still far away but with the shadows I could just pull him in.

“Finally, someone is here, can you get a rope or something? My foot is slipping!”

I stepped closer, then sat down, legs dangling off the edge of the waterfall. “I could hear you from miles away. You sounded like a desperate prick.”

Claws slid out of his knuckles and I smiled. How exactly was he going to rip me to pieces if he was dangling from a waterfall? His head would cave in against the sharp rocks, his handsome face smashed in and he would die. He looked High Fae, but definitely not from the Autumn Court…maybe Summer? Dawn? Day?

“Do you have any idea who I am?” he snarled, and I saw his foot lodged in the rock, begin to slip. He didn’t have much time, and if he lost the attitude maybe I would help him. His skin began to grow fur and I froze.

He was a High Lord. Only High Lords could transform into those…beasts. The monsters that reflected what they were on the inside.

“Show me some respect and I’ll save you” I offered, and his eyes narrowed and suddenly his foot became un-lodged and he fell.

Instantly I turned into shadows, wrapping around his torso, trying to pull him up but he was far too heavy. The shadows whispered to me to leave him and I was tempted to, but he was a High Lord. If word somehow got out, that I left a High Lord to die when I could have saved him…

I put all my effort into pulling him up, willing myself not to turn back to my Fae form. I wasn’t strong enough, I still needed to build up muscles. Something Eris had never particularly cared for. I sped towards the cliff edge, throwing myself over it, turning back into my Fae self, the High Lord sprawled against the ground, groaning.

I instantly thought of clothes.

I formed the shadow dress, falling on to my back, breathing heavily. What was it with High Lords and muscle? I would have preferred a sack of potatoes than a High Lord to carry!

The High Lord got to his feet, limping on his injured leg, cursing. I looked up at him, eyes flashing, hoping he’d at least offer a ‘thank you for saving my life’ when his eyes met mine and widened.

“You’re my mate”


	8. Chapter 8

**_Rhysand_ **

Rhys spent the night at the Autumn Court, Mor and Amren going back to Velaris, not able to spend a night in Eris’s domain. Azriel, Cassian and Feyre stayed with Rhys, as he waited for Rhea’s decision.

Then the screaming had started.

It had been horrific, filled with pain and suffering and something had been blocking the door, most likely shadows, even when Azriel had slammed the shadows into it, it hadn’t budged. The sound of glass breaking and then Rhea had disappeared.

_“This happens. When it does, it’s best to leave her alone.”_

The moment when Eris had gone flying into the wall with two shattered legs when he had dared to say those words.

He left her alone? Whenever Rhea had been consumed by the nightmares from her past? When the darkness had enveloped her until she screamed? When she had woken up screaming from nightmares? The darkness that would forever haunt her?

Eris had fled, not daring to stand up to any one of them. Azriel and Cassian had tracked Rhea to the Autumn forest while Feyre stayed with Rhys, an arm around him, silently comforting him. Rhea had nightmares just like him, consumed by Amarantha’s dark deeds that had been inflicted upon her.

_He could have done something. He could have tried to help Rhea escape Under the Mountain, send her to Velaris for Azriel, Cassian, Mor and Amren to raise her. Not scarred physically and mentally for the rest of her immortal life._

The very thought made him slam his fist into the wall, roaring. Rhea had gone to the forest to be left alone with her own pain, thinking no one would want to comfort her. Eris had known her for five years and never had comforted her, so she must have come to the assumption, no one would want to.

_Where had Eris fled to?_

If he asked Azriel, he was sure he would find Eris for him and kill him.

As time went on, Rhea didn’t return, and Rhys became more anxious, wanting nothing more than to fly into the forest and retrieve her but he knew Rhea wanted her own space.

So, he gave her space.

Reluctantly.

When all he wanted to go was fly into the forest, find her, and reassure her that she would never be alone in her torment again.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Rhea_ **

I froze.

No way. This couldn’t be happening, no, no it couldn’t be happening. I was only twenty years old! I couldn’t have a mate, I couldn’t, and this prick of a High Lord was my mate? A High Lord! The most possessive of all Fae males.

If I could just turn into shadows and get out of the forest, back to the Autumn Court, find my father and get out to the Night Court. This High Lord didn’t know who I was, so if he didn’t know my name, or what court I belonged to, he wouldn’t be able to find me again. Hopefully.

All I had to do was distract him, and then flee.

“Mate?” I whispered, watching his every move, carefully. He was a handsome male, definitely a High Lord from the way he held himself, the power radiating from him. If he could see the power coming from me…. He’d know I was High Fae, and with my strange hair colour and eyes, he’d be able to ask around if I escaped. Only if I went with my father, could I be protected.

“I found you” he growled, taking a step forward and terror struck deep into my heart. He’d never let me go if he got hold of me. “Keep your goddamn distance” I snarled, taking a step back, shadows curling around me as I let him see me as a shadow-singer. The shadows played with my shadow dress, curled in my hair, cold against my skin as I faced off my mate.

The look in his eyes told me he recognised what I was.

“You’re coming back to my court” he told me, no, _ordered me,_ and anger rose as he dared to tell me what to do. I barely tolerated Eris’s orders, but I wasn’t going to have my mate ordering me what to do. “No, I’m not. I have a mind of my own!”

Fury flickered across his features and I saw those claws sink out of his knuckles and he snarled. Then something seemed to dawn on him and the claws retreated, and he stopped growling and took a step back, something different in his eyes.

“I’m sorry…sometimes I can’t control my temper.” There was an edge to his voice though, like he still couldn’t control it and I felt wary. An unstable High Lord was dangerous. I wondered how fast he was. Could he winnow? Would he be able to follow me?

“What is your name?” I asked, documenting his every move. He raised his hands in a peace gesture. “I am Tamlin, High Lord of the Spring Court.”

_Tamlin._

_High Lord of the Spring Court._

I had heard of him. The High Lord who had become obsessed with Feyre, my father’s mate, and had sold out his lands to Hybern to get Feyre back. Possessive, obsessive, dangerous. And I was his mate.

_Mate._

_He’d never let me go._

“Please come back to my court with me” said Tamlin, and he took a step forward and it took all my willpower not to step back. He was very muscular, and I was tiny.

_I had to leave. I had to leave. I had to find my father and leave. He’d help me._

I forced myself to take a step forward, looking up at him, walking towards him until my hand touched his face. He stared down at me, something alike to awe shining in those green eyes. “I’m sorry” I whispered, and his eyes narrowed and then a blast of shadows hit him, and he went flying, hitting the ground and I turned into shadows and fled. I became the shadows, racing through the forest, the shadows whispering in my head. I heard crashes behind me and forced myself faster, but I wasn’t fast. I had become shadows, but I wasn’t used to it, I only learnt it a year ago and Eris has discouraged it.

A hand reached out, grabbing a tendril of the shadows I had become, yanking me back and I was forced back into human form, nearly crashing to the ground when two hands grabbed me by my waist, and I fell gently, shadows writhing around me, and when I was yanked up, I screamed, lashing out with shadows and ice, desperate to not be taken.

“Stop! It’s Azriel!”

I froze, looking up into the hazel eyes of Azriel, the shadow-singer, his beautiful eyes full of concern at my terrified state. I threw my arms around him, startling him, breathing heavily. I pulled back, shaking with fear.

“Please, please, get me out of here he’s right behind me, please, help me!”

A roar filled the air, close by, and in one swift move, Azriel picked me up, one arm around my shoulders, the other around my knees, and then I heard a faint noise and then Azriel winnowed us out of the forest.

* * *

I was still shaken when we reappeared in the Autumn Court, gripping on to Azriel, my body racked with shakes. My eyes were tightly shut, the shadows wrapped around me like a shell, and Azriel held on to me tight.

“What happened? What’s wrong with her?”. I recognised that voice, but the name eluded me…a male voice…Cass…Cassian! “A male was chasing her” answered Azriel, and I slowly let go of him, and he gently let me down, but my knees gave out and he caught me again and I clung to him, trying my hardest to not to let the darkness consume me once more. It filled my thoughts, forcing me to sink deeper and deeper into my most darkest memories.

_To be locked up, like in the dark room._

I heard more voices, but could not identify them, as a scream tore through my throat.

_Chained, a mask over my face._

Someone was saying my name over and over again, begging me to say something, to calm down.

_The whip, coming down on my body, unable to escape, Amarantha’s laughter as she cut my skin open._

“Don’t let him take me! Don’t let him take me!”

_The heat against my wings, the smell of burning and then the pain lashed out._

“Get her to Velaris now!”

_My screams shaking the mountains, as my wings and body burned with fire._

“Rhea, please, you’re safe, please calm down!”

_The faebane being poured down my throat, the knife carving those words into my burnt wings._

_I am nothing._

_I am nothing but shadows._


	10. Chapter 10

**_Rhea_ **

**_(From this point on, I am stopping all Rhysand chapters.)_ **

I couldn’t look at anyone.

The place my father had brought me to, Velaris, I had gone into a full- blown panic attack and it had humiliated me. The reason why I was now in the Velaris forest, after waking up with my father and Azriel and Amren there, trying to find out who I had been afraid of in the forest. Azriel had said he couldn’t find the male, but there had been blood on the ground from when I had sent Tamlin crashing into the ground.

I didn’t want to face anyone, talk to anyone, and wanted out of Velaris.

I knew Azriel was following me, I could sense him, and he knew it, damn well, but seemed to not care. I did care though that he was following me like I was already deemed untrustworthy in his eyes. I whirled around, ice freezing the ground, embarrassment and anger staining my pride. “Stop it!”

He chose to stay hidden, which only angered me further. “Why are you following me? You know I can sense you! So, step out you goddamn coward!” Azriel appeared, no emotion on his face. The shadows constantly around him, whispering into his mind like mine did to me. “Why are you following me?”. Azriel took a step forward, and I fought to keep my shadows away from him, the ice from turning him into a statue. “I’m…worried about you.” He didn’t seem to be lying, but then he was as expressionless as a tree.

I walked towards him, eyes flashing. “Why? Because I’m such an emotional wreck? Because since you’ve met me, since my father and I have reunited, that I’ve collapsed into screams? I can’t help that I’m weak! I can’t help the fact that the darkness will always haunt me from Under the Mountain! There are Fae who went through far worse than what I went through but I can’t help it! I’m sorry that I was such a burden to you in the forest, that you had to carry me back, but I got scared! That male was going to take me away and never let me go and all I could think about was when Amarantha had me locked away in that room for fifteen years! So, I’m sorry that I couldn’t handle it internally and you won’t have to for much longer because I’m leaving so you and my father don’t have to deal with me!”

I didn’t realise I was crying.

The shadows were wrapped around me, protecting me, and I was shaking, and when Azriel took a step forward, I took a step back, my nails cutting into my wrist, somehow still feeling the shackles chaining me and I scratched at my wrist, trying to get rid of the feeling. Suddenly Azriel was in front of me, grabbing my hands, pulling them apart and I tried pulling away, but he was far too strong, and I realised his hands were calloused and looked down and I saw his hands.

“They were set on fire” said Azriel, seeing where I was looking, and I looked up at him. At the shadow-singer who had also been tortured, his hazel eyes still holding no emotion. He was what…five hundred years old? When had it happened?. “Do you fly?” asked Azriel and I saw my wrist was bleeding and I saw claws had slipped through my fingers. They could have gone through my wrist. I shook my head, shaking more. “I…can’t…”

Azriel tilted his head, and I saw confusion in his eyes. “But…Rhys is your father. He’s half Illyrian...”. I looked up at him, tears on my eyelashes. “Amarantha…burned my wings. I don’t want anyone to ever see them, so I don’t want to fly. The humiliation…”. Suddenly Azriel’s hands were on my face. “Don’t be humiliated. Ever. You can fly.”

A look came into his eyes. “What if I bring you back to Velaris? Get changed into pants, and we’ll come out here, and I’ll help you. I won’t ever judge you, you don’t have to be self-conscious.” The chance to fly…Azriel was…he seemed to understand what I went through. Something no one else ever seemed to understand. And the fact he was a shadow-singer…I just seemed to bond with him instantaneously.

“No one else will be here?” I asked quietly, and he nodded. “Just us.”

* * *

I asked Mor for the Night Court attire and she gave me a set, that fitted me perfectly. They were comfy, but I wasn’t exactly sure did I like the way they hugged my figure. I knew I was far too skinny and petite, something I knew people would know straight away but it was just with Azriel, so I ignored the clothes.

The forest was quiet no one about. Azriel had taken out his wings, and they were huge, nearly taking up all the forest clearing. They were elegant and beautiful like him and the feathers were glossy. I tried not to stare but I did tell him they were beautiful, and I could have sworn his cheeks had flushed.

Azriel stood behind me, and his hands were on my back and I fought the urge to flinch away when his hands touched my back. When he took hold of the shirt, he paused. “It’s not ripped. I’ll have to rip it…is that fine?” His voice was soft, tentative and I nodded and in one swift move, his claws ripped through it. I almost felt him tense. I knew what he was looking at.

And I was trying my hardest to not to flinch away and turn into shadows and flee, and never turn back.

I knew he was looking at my mutilated back, the skin slashed with scars, the burns from the fire covering from my right shoulder, going down my back, curled around my waist. The slashes etched into the burns. His hands touched my back, tracing the burns and scars.

“You’re just a child…she did that to you?” the hatred in his voice was clear and I nodded, shakily.

“Take out your wings” he said softly, and I complied, and I heard him stumble and realised I had hit him with my wings and fought back the laugh that threatened to emerge.

When Azriel had recovered, I heard his sharp intake of breath. “The colour of your wings…were they always that colour?”. I nodded.. My wings, silver-grey, and I had a strong feeling it was because my mother came from the Winter Court. I felt Azriel trace the burn scars and I knew he was seeing the words Amarantha had carved into my wings.

BASTARD BORN

“You have beautiful wings” Azriel told me, then stepped back. “Have you trained with your wings before?” I shook my head. “Amarantha kept me locked in that room for fifteen years. Eris never let me use my wings, he didn’t want to look at them.”

A ferocious snarl ripped from Azriel and I turned around, seeing he was snarling, breathing heavily. I put my hand on his arm. “Eris had his moments, after he killed his father, he wanted me to marry him, to align the Winter, Autumn and Night Courts as I’m High Fae. He became more…affectionate and I had a feeling he was just toying with my feelings to get me to marry him, but I brushed it aside. I felt…I had to because of what he had done for me, getting me out of that room, letting me recover in his court…I felt that I owed him.”

“You don’t owe Eris anything” Azriel snarled, and I stared at him, eyes wide, “you don’t owe anyone nothing. Don’t ever think you have to marry something because you owe them.”

Azriel closed his eyes, trying to calm down and I didn’t have a clue on what to do. I was only twenty years old! I was still a child, compared by years, even if I did look like a human in their twenties. Azriel was somewhere around five hundred years old or even older, if he had known my father when they were kids.

“Azriel…” I said, and his eyes snapped open and I was relieved to see he was calmed down. He cleared his throat, that emotionless expression entering his eyes again.

“Let’s get started with your flying lesson.”


	11. Chapter 11

For days, Azriel and I bonded, every day he brought me out to the forest and helped teach me how to fly, strict but gentle, knowing I was too fragile from my ordeals to ever be trained how to fight but he helped teach me to fly and even showed me defensive and attack movements.

I felt safe in Velaris, from the horrors of my past, from my High Lord mate who was no doubt looking for me, and I bonded with Mor, Feyre and even Amren, the female with silver eyes who seemed to take an interest in me, the offspring of a High Lord, weak and defenceless, her exact words. My response was to look her up and down and say she didn’t look like much either.

Cassian said he had never seen Amren so lost for words.

My father brought me into the streets of Velaris every day for hours after my training with Azriel, bringing me to a place where food was served, and he practically ordered everything and handed it all to me. I knew what he was looking at, my fragile bones, petite figure, and the fact he wanted to make me fatter made me laugh.

I seemed though to bond with Azriel more than my father. Azriel was quiet and I knew him, Cassian and Rhys were the most dangerous Illyrians in history (and Cassian’s remark of them also being the hottest with the largest wingspans) and he was feared but for some reason I didn’t fear the trio. I saw the violence and danger that lived inside them and yet I felt no fear.

I did fear the female cook in the grey building though.

A large woman who hadn’t let me or Rhys leave until I had eaten everything except the plates on the table, even the fact that I was a shadow-singer (apparently being the second shadow-singer in Velaris had spread quickly) hadn’t deterred her and she had threatened me with a wooden spoon. I had quickly eaten everything, thanking her, praising her on her cooking and she had then shoved more food at me to ‘taste’ and arrangement I was sure, her and my father had arranged to get me fatter.

Cassian, the strange male who seemed to have made it his life mission to annoy me to test my limits, made every dirty joke about me, and I had thrown a spoon at his head, which he had dodged.

I didn’t know how to approach Feyre. She seemed…somewhat pissed off that Rhys had never told her he had a daughter. But I didn’t care if she hated me or not. She may be the Cursebreaker and harbinger of all the High Lord’s powers, but she didn’t scare me.

Mor seemed to like me, and she was a curious thing. We got along well, but I was careful with revealing details about my past.

I sat on the roof of the house, looking at the beautiful view of Velaris, playing with a small dagger in my hands, bathing in the sun. I was wearing a dark purple silk dress, with long sleeves, that was loose and flowing, and I was barefoot, not caring for shoes.

Did I really want to spend the rest of eternity in Velaris?

I wanted to travel, see the lands, but there was one Fae I was terrified of.

My High-Lord mate.

I knew I couldn’t outrun him for the rest of my life. He would find me eventually and I didn’t know what I would do. I had done my research on the High Lords though.

There was Thesan, Helion, Tamlin, Kallias, Tarquin, my father Rhys, Eris.

I could rule out Kallias and Eris. I knew that Kallias was mated but that left Helion, Tamlin and Tarquin.

Tamlin, the High Lord of the Spring Court, who’s court had been torn apart and rebuild on fragile grounds.

Helion, the Spell-Cleaver, known for his charms.

Tarquin, the young High Lord of the Autumn Court.

To be honest, Tarquin didn’t seem too bad. I had asked my father, trying not to pry too much so he’d get suspicious, and he told me Tarquin was a dreamer of a better world. The way he talked about Tarquin had been off and when I asked him why he said that him and Feyre and Amren had stolen from him years ago.

I didn’t press further and went to the massive library where I asked one of the librarians for a book on the mating bond. She hadn’t questioned but from under her hood, I saw her eyebrows arch.

* * *

The book had been a disappointment, written in a foreign language I didn’t understand. I had put it back on the shelf, with a sigh and had wandered off into the library until I came across a large pit in the middle of the library. I looked around. No one was in the general area. I went to the edge of the pit, curious. Why would there be a pit in the library? Was the library built around the pit as part of Velaris? Why was there a pit? What was in it?

Well if it wasn’t guarded then there wasn’t anything in it to be scared of.

“Hello?”

My voice echoed down into a pit... Silence answered back, and I became more curious. There were steps leading down into it and I took another look around. No one was around to stop me.

How bad could it be?

I started to make my descent into the pit.


	12. Chapter 12

The pit was dark and cold, and the ground was rough under my soft slippers (which Mor had insisted on, because apparently going barefoot was acceptable but my feet would be roughened out). I ran my hand along the walls, and the shadows wrapped around me. The air was eerily quiet and as I walked along, I got the strong feeling that something or someone was watching me, and I looked around. Nothing was there but the shadows were whispering to me of a dark entity.

I went further in to the pit, my hand still trailing the wall, and then my hand hit something, that felt dry and flaky on the wall. I looked down at my hand and my eyes widened.

It was old blood.

_Hello lovely female._

I swung around, ice at my fingertips, breathing ragged, fear filling me.

“Who are you?”

Quiet laughter. _I am one of the old. This is my home and you have entered without permission._

“Fae curiosity overwhelms fear” I replied, trying to stall my way out of becoming its food.

_You are of shadows and ice. The shadows whisper inside your mind, protect you. You were born of shadows and darkness._

“I am a shadow-singer, daughter of Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court and of Dekara, of the Winter Court. I did not wish to intrude on your home without permission, I did not think anyone lived down here.”

Silence for a while and then…

_You are the Heir of the Night Court?_

The voice seemed to be coming from all around me and it didn’t sound male or female or young or old. It just…was a voice.

“I am a female. It will not fall upon me but to the son of my father and his mate, the High Lady of the Night Court. I beg of you to accept my apology and allow me to leave…preferably alive and within my lifetime.”

The voice let out a soft laugh. _I have no wish to inflict harm upon the offspring of the High Lord. But the High Lady did once make a bargain with me to help her. She was to send me company, to tell me of life. She fulfilled our second bargain, to have a window placed in the library so I could see the sky and night, but she never sent me company._

My mouth went dry. What was this creature? If Feyre had made a deal with it and had never actually gone through with it? Did I have to be the one to fulfil it, so I could leave?

“I am not the right person to tell you of life when all I ever saw as a child was darkness” I replied, my voice quiet but the voice still heard.

_Then tell me of the darkness._

* * *

When I returned to the library, I felt oddly light.

The creature had listened, never interrupting, only when I stopped to control myself from snapping, to surrendering to the darkness. I looked down at the pit and remembered my last words to it.

_“Do you ever get hungry? I could have something brought down to you if you are trapped down here.”_

_A living plaything would suffice._

Did he mean a Fae?

I returned to the town-house, and first saw Feyre who looked deep in thought, flames dancing at her fingertips. The power of Beron, the former High Lord of the Autumn Court. I tried not to look at the flames, the ones that Eris loved. I didn’t want to remember him much.

“Rhea!”

  
Feyre noticed me, her eyes wide. “We were looking everywhere for you! Rhys thought you left Velaris and has been looking everywhere for you, as has Az, Cassian and Mor!”. I folded my arms, feeling slightly annoyed. “I don’t them treating me like a child.” Feyre turned to me, and I saw anger flash across her face. “We don’t treat you like a child, but when you’re gone for eight hours and tell nobody where you went, you can’t blame Rhys for being slightly concerned!”.

I knew she hated me, most likely because Rhys never told her he had a daughter. But I didn’t care, in fact, if she wanted to ever pick a fight with me, I’d throw her into the goddamn pit to the creature.

I had been gone for eight hours? That must have been one hell of a talk.

“I didn’t know how long I was gone for, I was in the pit.”

Feyre faltered. “You…were with Bryaxis?”

My eyebrows creased as I leaned against the wall. “Is that its name? It mentioned you, saying you made a deal with it but never fulfilled it.”

Feyre sighed, collapsing into the chair, rubbing her forehead. She looked tired and I felt guilty for causing everyone worry. If I had been gone for eight hours…time must have gone by quickly. “Bryaxis and I made a deal when we first met, that I would send him someone to tell him of life, second time we met, I made a deal to have a window placed in the library, so he could see the sky and night. I had the window put in, but I never specifically said when I had to send him company.”

I scratched at my wrist, a habit of mine. “Well, I fulfilled it. He’s good company to have. He didn’t harm me because Rhys is my father.”

“Rhea?”

Feyre and I looked over to the door and I saw Rhys standing there, his eyes wild, hair dishevelled, he looked…animalistic.

“I thought you left without saying goodbye.”

I walked over to him and hugged him. “I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. I’m sorry, I lost track of time with Bryaxis.”

He stiffened. “You were with Bryaxis?”

I pulled back and nodded. “By the way…do you have anyone you want to kill?”


	13. Chapter 13

Every day I was busy, between training with Azriel, bonding with Rhys, and talking to Bryaxis, who I hadn’t found a plaything for yet but, he didn’t seem to mind. He actually seemed rather bored down in the pit, with no one to talk to. I got the gist from him (I started to call it a ‘he’ because it just seemed appropriate) that his meals came from the other creatures in the pit, which spread for miles over Velaris, but he said they never entered the cavern I was in, alive, or in one piece.

Cassian himself waited for me in the library and when I asked why he said he had his own personal experience with Bryaxis and then he had gone pale and quiet and I wondered what Bryaxis had done. He probably hadn’t been as welcoming as he was to me every day as he was to Cassian that time.

Rhys told me all the High Lords were gathering to see if Eris was appropriate to be High Lord. I already associated Eris with being High Lord and somehow, I knew he would be High Lord, with his charms and…. somewhat…violent threats, I knew he would become High Lord.

He had also asked me if I would like to go to the Autumn Court to be there for the voting. I had a feeling he didn’t want me to go because of my past experience with the Autumn Court, but he had still offered. I said yes, not wanting to be stuck in Velaris for an eternity.

Everyone was going except for Mor. Rhys told me her and Eris had very bad history, that ended in Eris having a death sentence by everyone in the group but, Rhys had made a deal with Eris and had to fulfil it.

I had known Eris was violent and merciless, but he had always been…somewhat…affectionate with me. I realised then that I had known a side of Eris that I bet very rarely happened. I knew better than to say that to anyone though, if they wanted Eris dead, me defending him would easily piss them off.

We were leaving the day after, by winnowing, and Azriel said he’d carry me there since I didn’t know how to winnow and everyone else did except for Amren who Cassian would winnow in.

I didn’t know how I’d feel if I saw my High Lord mate there, but I could easily avoid him. I really wanted to meet Kallias and Tarquin, Tarquin who was a dreamer of equality, so I desperately wanted to meet a High Lord of such qualities. Kallias was the High Lord of the Winter Court, and since my mother was High Fae, he would definitely have known her, and Rhys wouldn’t talk about her for some reason. So, I had to get to Kallias.

And if my mate found me, I’d turn to shadows and run like hell. Easy. And if I couldn’t get away, I’d kick him in the balls and go on the run for the rest of my life.

Hopefully.

* * *

The next day we travelled to the Autumn Court, I kept my eye out for the golden haired High Lord, conscious of the dagger under my dress, strapped against my leg. I knew Rhys would fight for me if necessary, but this was another High Lord. There was only so much he could do.

I recognised many of the guards as I passed but none spared me even a glance. I had left the Autumn Court after all for the Night Court. Their hatred for me was understandable and I didn’t hold it against them. Azriel stayed by my side, his shadows melting into mine. I still didn’t understand the full concept of my powers. They had gradually appeared a few days after being released from Under the Mountain. The voices that had whispered inside my head…I thought I had gone mad until the shadows started to constantly writhe around me, and Eris realised what I was.

Shadow-singers…rare but treasured by High Lords. After all shadow-singers were used for spying. But I had grown up into darkness, I had no idea of treachery or deceit, I wasn’t a spy. My powers that came from the shadows were useless so why were they given to me?

Azriel’s hand weaved into mine and I looked up at him, a beautifully handsome male, with scarred hands and wings of darkness, those Siphons glowing with his powers, strength to rival even a High Lord. I smiled up at him, and squeezed his hand, not caring for the roughness of his burns. The only other shadow-singer who understood what I went through, not everything, but he understood me in a way that no one else did and I didn’t ever want to be parted from him. I already loved him, but not in a way a lover would…

I saw my father raise his eyebrows at seeing Azriel and I holding hands, but he said nothing, even when Cassian nudged him, grinning slyly at him. I kept my gaze away from Feyre, not sure what to make of her still.

I knew my way around the Court, so I directed everyone to the main hall where the High Lord would sit. When we got there, a large round table with seats was put in the middle of the hall, leaves carved into it. There was already two High Lords sitting there, one of white hair and blue eyes and I knew that he was Kallias. He regarded me with curiosity, no doubt knowing who Feyre and Amren were, but didn’t know who I was. I bowed my head slightly at him, a small gesture of respect and he looked away at Rhys.

“I was not told we could bring our wives or…friends.”

Rhys shrugged carelessly, sitting down in a wooden chair. “I was not told either, but I did anyway.”

The other High Lord had brown hair and brown eyes that were touched with gold. I cocked my head at him, wondering which High Lord this was…Thesan?

He looked at me and I bowed my head at him as well, careful of how I regarded the High Lords. Azriel, who still held my hand, dug his thumb into a bone in my hand and I looked up at him and he shook his head slightly. Most likely telling me not to show respect towards them. I inclined my head, narrowing my eyes and his mouth parted. _Do not bow,_ he mouthed to me and I nodded slightly, wondering what that was about.

“Where are Helion, Tarquin and Tamlin?” asked Feyre, sitting down next to Rhys, then Amren, Cassian and Azriel sat and I sat down next to Azriel and let go of his hand, my hand started to shake. Azriel looked down and saw my hand shaking and looked at me, his hazel eyes narrowed at me and I willed myself not to become even more terrified than I already was.

I felt sick to my stomach and realised the consequences of my actions. All six High Lords would be here soon enough, including my mate. What would I do if he came through the door and I had no time to get away? I needed to talk to Kallias though. I needed to know about my mother.

Soon Tarquin and Helion walked in and I realised then that it was Tamlin, the High Lord of the Spring Court who was my mate and my breathing grew heavy. As the High Lords began talking, Eris entered, but I was too preoccupied with not breaking down to even smile or acknowledge him. I grabbed Azriel’s hand, which startled him, but he held my hand tight, and listened for footsteps. I couldn’t hear any which made me even more scared and I yanked my hand out of Azriel’s shoving my chair back, my hand to my stomach, feeling sick, and ran to the door and flung it open just in time to see my mate winnow in and lay eyes on me.


	14. Chapter 14

I froze as did he.

Tamlin took a step forward, eyes wide, his eyes scanning me. “My mate” he breathed, a smile breaking out on his face and I heard footsteps and then I heard Azriel’s voice.

“Rhea?”

I didn’t look behind me, I kept my eyes on Tamlin, watching his every move. His eyes went behind me, staring at Azriel and I knew what he was seeing. A possible male who had already claimed me. I saw claws grow out of his knuckles and reacted quickly.

“I feel sick, Azriel, I’m going to go get some fresh air for a few minutes” I said, without looking behind me and I knew Azriel was suspicious, and I could feel my hands still shaking.

_This wasn’t how it was supposed to go._

I heard Azriel go back inside and the door closed. I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or terrified.

“Is he your lover?” asked Tamlin, and I shook my head. “Friend” my voice came out soft, fragile and I hated it. It made me sound weak. I kept my eyes on Tamlin and examined every detail of him. He radiated power. His long golden hair was tied behind his head, he wore black clothing that was made from elegant material and he regarded me with longing.

“Who are you here with?” he asked but before I could answer, I heard the door open.

“Rhea, will I winnow you back to the Night Court?”

I recognised that voice.

_Oh no, please no._

“Rhysand” snarled Tamlin and his eyes flickered to me and his claws extended fully. “You’re of the Night Court?”

_If I just turned to shadows and fled…_

“Tamlin, you have no business with my daughter, now leave” growled Rhys and I realised that they had some sort of past feud which made them detest each other.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

“You’re his daughter?” snarled Tamlin and I backed away, scared suddenly he morphed into a huge beast of fangs that was the size of a horse with a huge body and a wolfish head. He had massive antlers and his claws were like daggers.

_I had to get out now!_

Rhys yanked me behind him, shielding me from the beast that my mate had transformed into. “Tamlin, control yourself!”

The beast walked with gracefulness, snarling and I heard more footsteps and I heard voices.

“What’s going on Rhysand?”

Tamlin, or the beast, looked ready to pounce on Rhys and I knew I had to do something. A hand wrapped around my arm and Azriel pulled me back as the two High Lords faced each off but seeing Azriel pull me back into the safety of his shadows infuriated Tamlin even more and he set his eyes on Azriel instead, ignoring Rhys.

“Rhea, what’s going on?” asked Rhys, and I swallowed.

“He’s my mate.”

* * *

Silence.

My father turned to me, something alike to hatred in his eyes. Even Tamlin stopped his snarling, but his claws dug into the floor, his eyes on me and me only. “He’s your mate?”. I nodded, swallowing, and Azriel gripped me tighter. Rhys turned back to Tamlin and I saw before my eyes, he started to change form, talons replaced nails and tore through his shoes, scales formed over his skin and his face began to change.

“Rhys!”

Feyre rushed to him, hands on his face, and I watched as she calmed him down, whispering to him no doubt with her mind, her hands stroking those black scales, the face of monsters but I did not find myself scared of it.

I pulled myself out of Azriel’s grip and Tamlin’s wolf eyes followed the movement. He padded towards me and I saw no more anger in his eyes and when his lupine head brushed against my stomach, I ran my fingers through the fur.

“Isn’t there a meeting we have to get to?”

Everybody looked behind at Kallias, who looked merely bored, but his eyes darted between the two beasts, surveying the threats. I bent down to my knees, stroking Tamlin’s snout and he _purred._

I watched my father and Tamlin revert to their Fae forms and they both eyed each other with mutual hatred. I ran my hand down Tamlin’s arm, my eyes fixated on me, adoration in his eyes. I smiled up at him, hoping he was calmed down.

Shadows touched my back, pressing into my skin ever so slightly and I responded to Azriel’s silent question by sending shadows stroking his. Azriel stepped away, but I knew he would be always near me, to make sure Tamlin didn’t harm me. I was pretty sure though that he wouldn’t harm me. But just in case, I didn’t ask Azriel to step away.

* * *

When we went back into the meeting, Tamlin sat down next to me but snarled when Azriel sat down in his former seat, on the other side of me, and I saw his hand on his sword, Truth-Teller. I wrapped my hand in Tamlin’s and he calmed but his claws remained, feeling threatened by Azriel.

I saw that Rhys barely took his eyes off Tamlin, daring him to try anything with me. The meeting went on, taking votes while Eris sat there, looking somewhat innocent. In the end, it was decided that the final vote would be tomorrow, which meant everyone would stay the night at the Autumn Court.

It felt…weird to have the mate I had been trying to hide from, sitting right next to me, while holding his hand. His hand was calloused, and he leaned into me, in a possessive way. I knew Azriel didn’t like that as his shadows touched my arm, a silent question whether he should rip Tamlin apart.

It was sweet the way he was protective over me.

When Tamlin wasn’t looking, I ran the tips of my fingers over his hand, shaking my head slightly, grinning up at him. Azriel stared down at me, and I pulled my hand away before Tamlin noticed.

When the meeting was over, Rhys pulled me away to talk to me in private, which irritated Tamlin, but I smiled at him, stroking his arm again and he calmed down. “Rhea…I don’t know how to deal with this.” I leaned against the wall, closing my eyes. “Trust me, Father, I don’t have a clue on how to deal with this either.”

Suddenly Rhys was in front of me, hands cupping my face. “Rhea, you are his _mate_. I can’t…take you from him, the other High Lords will not stand for it. But you must know, he is obsessive, and possessive and his temper is worse than all High Lords combined. Him and Feyre were once lovers, and he trapped her inside his house, refusing to let her leave until it came to the point where her spirit was broken.”

_The feud between them was more than a feud…Rhys stole Feyre from Tamlin to save her._

They looked at each other with such hatred…

“I will not let him take you” he suddenly snarled, but it seemed as if he was talking to himself, “I will not let him break you as he did to Feyre.”

_If I let my father take me away, hide me from Tamlin, a war would break out. They were both High Lords._

I knew what I had to do.

I was only twenty years old. I had hoped to travel the lands, see the wonders the world had to offer, but this was my fate.

To be mated to a High Lord.


	15. Chapter 15

I decided to spend the night in my old room, Azriel’s right next to me. He didn’t even bother asking for permission, he just took the room and dared anybody else to try to argue with his eyes. I was relieved it was Azriel who took the room and not Tamlin, who turned into that beast when he heard Azriel was in the room next to mine and I quickly left, leaving my father and Tamlin to ‘sort things out’.

I tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep, thoughts darting through my head. Tomorrow, after Eris’s voting, I would be forced to go to the Spring Court, to live out an eternity with a High Lord, as his wife, as a consort, to bear children, to be side-lined, to never have a say in anything.

I yanked the covers off me and stood up, grabbing my old cloak and tied the clasp around my neck. Who cared if I went around in my nightdress? I left the room, heading for the high balcony.

As I stared out at the stars and the moon in the night sky, I felt tears come to my eyes. I had been a prisoner for fifteen years of my life, only to have freedom for five, and then be forced to be mated to a High Lord. I would never know freedom again.

_I should never have come to talk to Kallias._

Tears fell down my face and I leaned against the balcony, looking down at the drop. I could just turn into shadows and leave, never look back. Leave my father, Azriel, Tamlin, Eris behind. Find a new life somewhere in the world.

_And what about Tamlin? If his temper succeeds his obsession to find me, he will hunt me and would never let me go._

“Why are you crying?”. I turned around to see Kallias standing there, his silver hair striking in the night. I bit my tongue to try to stop my tears. “I’m mated to a High Lord” I replied, my voice breaking, and he tilted his head. “Is that such a bad thing?”. I wiped away my tears with my cloak sleeve, looking up at him. “I wanted to be free, to travel, to not be tied down to anyone or anything, and now I’ll never be free.”

Kallias walked over to the balcony, leaning against it, watching me. “No one knew Rhys had a daughter” he said, as if insulted he never knew and I shrugged. “I was Under the Mountain since I was born, I was there for fifteen years until Amarantha was killed.” I knew Kallias was curious about me. The daughter of the High Lord of the Night Court that no one knew about. “I was Under the Mountain for forty -nine years. I never saw you or heard of you.” “I was one of Amarantha’s many playthings. She kept me locked away.” I didn’t look at him as I said those words.

_The darkness that had lasted for years, unable to properly breathe in the iron mask, unable to talk, only my screams could be heard._

I fought back the wave of terror and finally looked up at the High Lord of the Winter Court. I remembered what I needed to ask him.

“Was there a female in your court called Dekara twenty years ago?”. Kallias’s eyebrows rose but before he could reply, a dark figure appeared and snarled, and I turned to face Tamlin. “What’s going on here?” asked Tamlin, his jaw set, claws at his hands and Kallias turned to face him and I saw his face bore a mask of ice. “We were just talking, Tamlin.” The tone of his voice made the conversation final.

Tamlin turned his gaze to me and I didn’t back down from his stare. High Lords were dominant males, but I would never back down to him. I was not going to be weak-minded. Kallias looked at me and I saw something in his eyes. “We will continue our conversation at a later date, Rhea” Kallias winnowed away, leaving me with Tamlin. I turned away, facing the balcony and suddenly I felt a presence behind me, and I wondered if Tamlin had winnowed such a short distance.

“The night sky is beautiful” I said, not really speaking to him, more to myself but Tamlin came closer until his front was touching my back. His hands touched my waist and I found myself leaning back into his touch. “What were you and Kallias talking about?”

_Possessive High Lord._

I shrugged. “Somethings are meant for particular ears, Tamlin.” A soft growl. “You’re a shadow-singer…how?”. I turned in his hold. I looked up at him and realised I only came up to his upper chest. I kept my gaze on him as I said once more, “somethings are meant for particular ears.” I became shadows and slipped out of his hold and looked back at him. “It’s getting cold, I’m going back to bed, goodnight Tamlin.”

Before I could walk away, Tamlin grabbed me and his lips brushed my cheek for longer than necessary, one hand tangled in my hair, the other under my cloak, resting on my hip. I stayed still as he whispered, “goodnight, I will check up on you in the morning.” And when Tamlin escorted me back to my room, I waited until he left, then snuck into Azriel’s room and curled up on the soft couch, not wanting to be alone in my room if Tamlin returned.

* * *

In the morning, Azriel was gone from the room but a blanket was draped over my body, a cushion under my head and I was resting in his bed and I wondered if he had heard me come in during the night but hadn’t questioned it, had waited for me to fall asleep until he switched us so I was in the bed and slept on the couch for the couch had a thin blanket thrown over it.

I went back into my room and got dressed into a dark green dress with a simple design of leaves at the end of it, one of the many dresses I had worn while I lived in the Autumn Court. I brushed my hair and kept it down but plaited a small piece and brushed it behind my ear.

Most of the High Lords were already seated at the round table by the time I got there but nobody else was there. I contemplated sitting next to my father and in the end, took the seat by Tarquin, who was deep in conversation to Thesan. I met my father’s gaze and he smiled at me but there was sadness in his eyes.

_Azriel told me that you slept in his room last night after talking to Tamlin._

I jumped at the voice inside my mind, earning the confused looks of Tarquin, Thesan and Rhys, the latter who grinned at me.

_I’d rather speak in private. I’ll teach you how to raise shields in your mind to stop unwanted Fae from reading your thoughts._

Helion entered, as did Feyre and Cassian and Azriel and Amren and I met Azriel’s eyes and smiled at him, a gesture of thanks for not throwing me out of his room.

_I doubt he would do that, he’s rather fond of you already._

_DON’T READ MY THOUGHTS!_

Rhys barked a laugh, and everybody looked at him, but he shrugged. “I think sometimes I’ve gone mad” he says.

Tamlin entered and the grin left Rhys’s face. _Just say the word, Rhea, and I’ll castrate him with a faebane knife._

_I’ll castrate you with a faebane knife if you don’t get out of my mind._

The grin reappeared on Rhys’s face and Tamlin made to sit next to me but Amren winnowed right next to me and took the seat. Everyone looked startled at it, but she stared defiantly at Tamlin. “We don’t need the two of you having your hands all over each other during the meeting.” Cassian choked on the bread roll he was eating.

* * *

The meeting went as I thought and Eris became High Lord of the Autumn Court. During the meeting, my father and I spoke mentally. He had told me that Cassian, Azriel, Amren, Feyre and himself would not go against Tamlin unless I asked them to. I was somewhat comforted by the thought.

When the meeting was over, I was up before anyone else and left the room, waiting for Kallias. I still needed to speak to him, but I doubted Tamlin would allow me to. I watched each High Lord pass, Tamlin went in the direction of my bedroom and I waited until Kallias walked by and stepped out.

“Can we continue our conversation?”. Kallias winnowed us to the balcony where he said immediately, “you asked about Dekara, why?”. I put my hand on the rail, and immediately it froze over, ice crackling, and Kallias’s eyes widened. “Dekara was my mother” I told him, and he took a step towards me and I knew he was seeing my eye colour change, as it did whenever I used my ice powers. The icy blue they became.

“Dekara was my sister” said Kallias, breathless. “She was killed for sharing a bed with Rhysand…but…I never knew she had been pregnant.” My eyes widened. Kallias…High Lord of the Winter Court…was my uncle? Was that why Rhys had not told me about my mother? Because he didn’t want me finding out I was related to Kallias?

“I need to know about Dekara, Rhys refuses to tell me about her…but I need to know, please, Kallias.”

So Kallias told me.


	16. Chapter 16

I should have known Rhys would have done something about me being mated to Tamlin. After all, he had seemed unnaturally collected about the whole drama, had been quiet when around me, as had Azriel and Cassian had made a joke about ‘running away from my prick of a mate’.

But kidnapping me, I never thought of that.

_Four hours earlier…_

After my talk with Kallias, I was in tears, as was he nearly.

Kallias told me of my mother, Dekara, a beautiful female, High Fae, who had been my father’s lover in secret, afraid of Amarantha’s wrath. Months had gone by of their secret affair until one of Amarantha’s spies caught Dekara leaving Rhys’s bedroom, and had gone to Amarantha and told her of her whore bedding another female. Dekara had been locked away for months, presumably tortured by Amarantha, but instead was pregnant with Rhys’s child and had been killed nine months later, her body strung above Amarantha’s throne, unable to pass on, her body never being burnt.

The daughter of Rhysand, High Lord the Night Court, niece of Kallias, High Lord of the Winter Court, mated to Tamlin, High Lord of the Spring Court.

I had been born of ice and shadows, and then chained to a beast of horns.

To escape one prison, only to be trapped in another.

The look on Tamlin’s face when he caught me once again with Kallias, a handsome High Lord, he had been livid, and I wanted nothing more to fall at my father’s feet and beg him to take me as far away as he could, to never be the prize of a High Lord. But my conscience wouldn’t allow it.

Tamlin’s first thought would be that Rhys stole me away, second would be of Kallias, since he had caught us talking twice already and I wouldn’t share the contents with him which infuriated him. But he couldn’t control me.

I caught Feyre in the hall and asked could I speak to her private, and had asked her about Tamlin, everything about him. She told me of after what Amarantha had put her through, killing those innocent Fae, Tamlin had ignored her needs, to make himself feel safe, how he became possessive and eventually obsession had clouded his thoughts and he had handed his lands over to Hybern to get her back.

_How could I be mated to such a male?_

I knew that within a few hours, Tamlin would leave the Autumn Court and take me with him to the Spring Court, a thought that terrified me. I didn’t want to be mated to a High Lord, I didn’t want to be tied to my father’s worst enemy for an eternity. The Lady of the Autumn Court, a shell of the female she had once been…would I become like her? I didn’t want to cry ever again, but the tears were about to surface, and I felt weak. What was the point of crying? Why did we cry? It showed that we were vulnerable while crying, which was a weakness.

“You don’t want to go.”

I turned around and saw Cassian standing there, emotions flickering across his face. None of the usual cockiness was there and I refused to wipe my eyes, my vision not blurring from tears just yet.

“Of course, I don’t want to go with Tamlin” I snapped at him, tears now running down my cheeks. “I don’t want to be some High Lord’s _consort,_ I don’t want to be forced to spend an eternity sewing and planning parties, I don’t want to have children and I definitely do not want to be _mated to a High Lord!”._ Cassian was suddenly holding me as I cried, and I sobbed into the soft material of his Night Court attire. He smelt for some reason, strongly of lavender. I pulled back and looked up at him and he tilted his head, puzzled. “The big bad Illyrian smells of lavender” I laughed through tears and a grin broke out on his face as he joined in on the laughter. “Blame the baths here” he managed to say before breaking into more laughter.

We managed to sober up eventually, sitting on the balcony, Cassian’s wings out in case I fell, or he fell off the balcony. I didn’t bother mentioning to him about the fact I had my own wings, but if I went to the Spring Court, I’d be forced to discontinue my lessons with Azriel. And he was the only one I trusted to see my wings.

I looked at Cassian, taking in the huge wings, the muscles on his body and asked him a question that was lingering on my mind. “What if I just…disappeared? Would you just turn a blind eye?” Surprise flickered across his face. “Rhea, sweetheart, everyone in the Inner Circle would turn a blind eye to your ‘sudden disappearance’. We’ll all help you escape Tamlin.”

I tore at my bottom lip with my teeth. “He’s a High Lord though. He’ll go to war to get me back, and the first thought he’ll have will be that Rhys was the one to help me escape. It’s too suspicious and dangerous.” Cassian shrugged. “We’ve dealt with worse than some whining High Lord.” I barked a laugh. “I’ve heard your usual smartass answers and the best you can come up with is ‘whining?’”

Cassian smacked my head playfully. “Your young, I’m protecting your innocent ears from my smartass answers…you know…you are a shadow-singer.” I rubbed my head ruefully. “I’m terrible at spying if that’s what your implying. I’ve no idea how or why I’m a shadow-singer, but I’m the shittest one ever.” “I’m sure you’re not all bad.”

I looked up and saw Azriel standing there and Cassian suddenly stood up, his massive left wing that had been behind me, crashing into me and I went flying, hitting the ground with a yelp.

“Sorry, Rhea, forgot I had them out.”

Cassian held a hand out to me and I took hold of it, but instead of pulling me up, Cassian suddenly grabbed me by the waist, his other hand slipping under my knees and picking me up and winnowed away.

* * *

When we all reappeared in a house, I struggled, trying to get out of Cassian’s arms but he held me tight. I let my powers wash down to my hands and he let me go, cursing, and I fell once more to the ground.

“Where the hell am I?” I cried, stumbling to my feet and Azriel tried to steady me but I pulled away from him, eyes flashing. “You’re in Velaris” said Azriel, no emotions on his face. “Why?” I snarled, knowing my hair was turning white, as it did whenever I got angry.

“Because we’re kidnapping you, sweetheart” grinned Cassian.


	17. Chapter 17

“It’s not going to work.”

“Yes, it will.”

“No, it won’t.”

“Yes, it will. Now shut up before I shove a cushion into your mouth.”

I threw a purple cushion at Rhys who dodged it easily and smirked at me. It had been five days since Azriel and Cassian kidnapped me. Well…technically they did kidnap me, but I did want them to. I hadn’t wanted to go to the Spring Court with a High Lord. But I didn’t want to spend an eternity hiding out in Velaris! It wasn’t like Rhys or Azriel or Cassian or Mor were keeping me in Velaris. I was able to leave if I so wished, but I _didn’t want to._

If I left Velaris, there was a high chance Tamlin would find me. If I stayed in Velaris, I would be bored for an eternity.

So how did I choose between boredom and prison? Well…boredom obviously for most people. But I’m only twenty! I want to live, see everything! And now some stupid High Lord is going to ruin it for me!

I could travel through the human lands…wait no. They’d most likely shoot ash arrows at me.

I could always join Bryaxis in the cavern. He was harmless enough to me. I could find a few playthings for him.

“We could just throw Tamlin to Bryaxis. Let him have a High Lord for a play thing.”  
I turned around and saw Rhys there and sighed. “Can’t I get some peace around here? First, I find out I’m mated to a High Lord, second, I find out I’m the niece of the High Lord of the Winter Court, third, your overgrown bats kidnap me.”

“You know about Dekara” it was a statement of fact and when he took a step towards me, I watched him warily. “Try to remove all trace of my conversation with Kallias from my mind and I will never return to Velaris.”

My father sat down next to me and wrapped an arm around me. “I would never mess with your memories” he told me, all trace of warmth gone from his face. “I didn’t tell you of Dekara because…” his voice cracked at his next words, “I promised her I would keep you safe and I failed her. I _failed you._ Amarantha took her from me and kept you a prisoner for _fifteen years._ I kept you a secret from everyone, scared to tell anyone about you. I did everything in my power to keep Amarantha from spilling my most treasured secret to ensure you would never be discovered. Children of the High Lords are born with targets on their backs, word will travel fast now, that the daughter of the High Lord of the Night Court is mated to the High Lord of the Spring Court, and the fact your related by blood to Kallias is worse. If an enemy of mine was to get their hands on you, they could use as a bargaining chip or worse, for breeding. You were born of ice and shadows and you’re a _shadow-singer._ If you discovered the full extent of your powers, you could be a very powerful High Fae who resides in my court. I love you, you are my child, and trust me I would love nothing more than to keep you in Velaris, to ensure Tamlin _never_ touched you again. During that meeting, I wanted to rip him limb from limb for daring to put a hand on you, and I promise you, Azriel wanted to do the same.”

I looked into his violet eyes. “I don’t care about your enemies. You never failed me. I am proud to be your daughter, and I will run from your enemies for the next thousand years if I have to just to prove that to you. Those fifteen years I spent as Amarantha’s prisoner, you could have left me to her wrath, but you visited me. You told me of the sky, of the beauty of the night and the stars. And for that I am thankful. If I could change who my father was, I wouldn’t. For those fifteen years, Amarantha told me every day that the reason she did those things for me was because you were my father, and for all those years, being tortured and humiliated by her hand, I never once had a bad thought about you, I never hated you, and anyone who speaks a bad word against you, anyone who dares to say the name ‘Amarantha’s Whore’ to my face about you, I will rip apart.”

The tears that shone in Rhys’s eyes spilled down on to his cheeks and I felt my own tears surface. “Thank you for your love” said Rhys hoarsely and we held each other.

* * *

I laid down in the field I found not far away from Velaris, staring up at the night-sky, seeing the stars shine so brightly. The grass was soft under my body and the shadows that constantly whispered about me were for once, silent.

I had long ago made my decision. But I feared keeping it. How would I cope? I would visit Velaris, to see Rhys, Azriel, Cassian, Amren, Mor and even Feyre, who I seemed to have built a fragile friendship with. I couldn’t bare leaving Rhys and Azriel, Azriel who I spent hours with, training, the only one I let see my wings, and the only one who ever would see them.

Rhys had already said he would visit, to make sure I was alright, and that at the first sign of looking pale or sickly, or merely _walked_ different, he’d throw Tamlin into the pit with Bryaxis.

I found that oddly reassuring.

I knew my choice and hoped I didn’t regret it.

Tomorrow I was going to go to the Spring Court.


	18. Chapter 18

“…And then, Cassian and Azriel kidnapped me.”

I heard a low whisper of a chuckle and smiled slightly.

_And yet they still live? They took you without your permission and their hearts still beat?_

I shrugged, stretching my legs out on the cold ground. “They did it with good intentions.”

_Do you need me to climb out of my home and put the fear of the gods into them?_

I laughed, loving Bryaxis’s humour. I found he had humour and was amused at the smallest things. I didn’t care for the dark and cold pit, I just wanted the company. He was quiet, and never interrupted while I was talking. I told him of the beauty of the night and he had been quiet for minutes after. I could…feel Bryaxis’s presence. It was like…he was right in front of me, yet the darkness consumed him, hiding his being. I was curious to what the creature of nightmares looked like but never asked. If Bryaxis wished for me to see what he looked like, then he would show me one day.

“I’ll get back at them one day” I assured him, plaiting a piece of my blue-black hair. I wore a dark green soft dress, one of my favourites. I was sitting against the pit wall.

_When do you leave for the Spring Court?_

Was it my imagination but did I detect a hint of tension in his voice?

“I will return to Velaris regularly to visit” I replied, then sighed. “To be honest, I don’t wish to go to the Spring Court, but it is my duty. If Tamlin and Rhys get into a war…I’d never forgive myself if people died because of me.”

_You are a strange Fae, lovely female. You care for those around you._

“Is that such a bad thing?”

_It is for monsters who should not care.”_

I sat up, curious now. “Do you think of yourself as a monster, Bryaxis?”

Bryaxis never replied to my question.

* * *

“I daresay you’re the only one in history to ask a creature of nightmares if it thinks it’s a monster.”

I tried moving my wings and they moved smoothly, gliding through the air. Azriel watched my every move, eyes on my wings, ready to step forward if the burden of my heavy wings became too much. I was determined though to master the art of flying before I went to the Spring Court. I was trying to learn how to fly within five hours.

“Just…he seems different” I said, stretching my wings out easily, and Azriel caught my left wing and then suddenly let it go like it had burned his scarred hands. “What’s wrong?” I asked, concern filling me, and he looked at me, with almost a sheepish expression on his face. “It is…considered improper to touch another Illyrian’s wings without their consent. I am sorry, I forgot.”

I waved it off, not caring for old laws. “I only trust you with my wings. Your training me so I don’t care whenever you have to touch them. Just…they’re a bit sensitive where they’re scarred.” Azriel nodded, taking hold of my wing again, careful. “I will not cause you any harm, Rhea, I give you my word on that.”

He stretched my wing, and I flinched when a sudden sharp pain went through my back and I pulled away, gasping. “What happened? Rhea?”. “My back” I gasped, pain shooting down my back, and I fell to my knees, crying out in pain. Suddenly I was in Azriel’s arms and he was winnowing away, and pain clouded my vision and I blacked out.

* * *

_“Her old scars reopened…”_

_“She was trying too hard…”_

_“She should be fine in a few days…”_

_“When will she….”_

I groaned, trying to open my eyes but they felt too heavy. My back felt odd, numb, and I could feel my wings were out and I tried to sit up.

_Tried._

I fell back down, moaning, my body too heavy. What had happened?

“Rhea?”

I tried to open my eyes, but they felt too heavy again. “Az?”. I heard a bark of laughter and then a hand was on my shoulder. “Rhea don’t try to move, you injured yourself.” I buried my face into the pillow, not wanting to open my eyes.

“Why am I still not allowed to look?”

_Cassian!_

“Come in and I’ll castrate you” said Azriel and then the bed sagged, and I suddenly had a thought.

Was I…wearing clothes?

My eyes shot open and I jumped up, shadows writhing around me, covering me, but a strong hand pressed against my shoulder, pushing me back down. “Calm down, Rhea” said Azriel, his scarred hand rubbing my shoulder comfortingly, “you opened up your old scars by moving your wings too much. A healer was called and helped you.”

I tried remembering and all I could recall was blinding pain going down my back. “I can’t feel my back…”

’A salve. It will fade in a few hours and the pain will have faded by then. I only let the healer in, do not worry. I told Rhys why you wouldn’t want everyone in the room and he understood.”

_At least it was only the healer who saw my scars._

“Thank you” I breathed, trying to sit up again but Azriel pushed me back down. “Let your back have a rest for a few hours. No one will bother you, get some more sleep.”

“Hey, Rhea! Tell the overprotective bastard that your favourite uncle wants to be with you!”. I let out a small laugh at hearing Cassian’s remark. Azriel stood up, his weight leaving the bed and a few seconds later, I heard a scuffle and then-

“Hey, don’t be jealous because I’m her number one uncle from another father!”

* * *

My wounds healed within two hours and I was up on my feet, but Azriel, Cassian and Rhys wouldn’t let me walk more than three steps without help. My back was stiff, the salve slowly fading. I was able for travel, which meant my trip to the Spring Court wouldn’t be delayed.

Azriel had confided in me that the Spring Court was in disarray, since him and Cassian had kidnapped me. Tamlin had gone on a rampage, destroying and killing everything he saw.

_If this was how Tamlin reacted now, imagine how’d he reacts in a months’ time if I returned to Velaris?_

I discovered Azriel, one of the most dangerous and feared Illyrians in history, was a mother-hen. He brought me food and blankets and cushions, tending to my every need, many of them I hadn’t even asked for and he had still brought them. I had grown severely attached to Azriel and would miss seeing him every day.

“I will be at the Spring Court every day, even if Tamlin disapproves” Azriel had said, and had left it at that.

Hours past, and I said my goodbyes to Mor, Feyre, Amren, Cassian, Rhys and Azriel. Cassian swore to me he would rip Tamlin’s balls off, if he dared to try to confine me to the Court.

I knew that within seconds, if I reached out with my mind and called for my father or Azriel or Cassian, they would be there within moments to take me away from Tamlin. I secretly hoped that Tamlin would lose his temper with me.

Azriel winnowed me to the Spring Court, at the border and walked me through the forest, refusing to leave my side. I had let him, wary of my new surroundings. The forest was quiet, and Azriel talked to me quietly.

“I will miss you” he suddenly said, and I smiled up at the five hundred and something year old shadow-singer who I had connected with and left sadness at not seeing him every day. “And I will miss you too, Azzy.”

He raised an eyebrow at the new nickname I had given him but said nothing of it.

_Azzy and Cassy._

I couldn’t wait to see the look on Cassian’s face when I called him that.

“If something happens-”. “He will suffer” interrupted Azriel and I let out a low laugh. “The threats my father, Cassian and you have bestowed upon me for Tamlin have been oddly reassuring.”

There were voices nearby and Azriel stopped us and I turned to him and he stepped closer, hands on my shoulders. “Rhea do not trust him” warned Azriel and then he leaned forward, and his lips brushed my forehead and he winnowed away.

The voices grew louder and suddenly sentries appeared and caught side of me and their eyes widened, and I raised my hands in surrender.

“I am the mate to Tamlin, High Lord of the Spring Court, I come in peace” I called out and they exchanged looks. “You will come with us” said one of them, a male with brown hair and I walked carefully towards them, hands still raised. I let the male with brown hair hold me by the arm as they guided me through the forest, the other sentries behind me and I kept my guard up, making sure to stay close enough to the brown-haired male so he wouldn’t be too wary, but far enough to ensure my own safety if they turned on me.

When they brought me into the Spring Court, I was stunned at the sight of the massive mansion, decorated with balconies, covered in roses and ivy, patios everywhere. One of the males behind me disappeared off into the mansion and I waited patiently, taking in my new surroundings.

_It was no Velaris._

“Rhea?”

I turned to see Tamlin there, eyes wide, the sentry behind me, head respectfully bowed. I fought back the urge to scream for Azriel and managed to bring a smile to my face. “Tamlin” I replied and suddenly, within an eyeblink, he was in front of me, his hands around me, one around my upper arm, the other around my waist.

_Territorial._

“You came here” breathed Tamlin, checking over me for physical injuries. “Did…you escape?”

_Well my kidnappers let me go._

“I was never a prisoner, my family only cared for my safety” I said back to him and suddenly we were in a dining room.

_Would I regret this so soon?_


	19. Chapter 19

I hadn’t been surprised to learn my bedroom was right next to Tamlin’s.

And on _such short notice._

He wouldn’t leave me be, insisting on my change of clothes (for it was the Night Court attire I had arrived in) and to my surprise, had thrown them into the fireplace, saying I had no need of them again. His brashness nearly made me slap him.

I learnt quickly that Tamlin was a male who expected obedience from his court, and his mate. I kept my mouth shut so far but the urge to go back to Velaris made me skittish. Tamlin had dinner ready for us, and I ate little before pushing the plate back and said I was going to my bedroom. Tamlin had winnowed to my side in an instant, ready to walk me the mere minutes’ walk, but I hastily refused, saying I needed time to think.

I knew that wouldn’t always work.

Night came fast and when I went to my chambers, I found a maid there, young, with tied back blonde hair and blue eyes. I regarded her with suspicion, sitting down on a couch.

“Who are you?” I asked, eyes narrowed at her and yet she still smiled brightly, but I knew it was fake as it didn’t reach her eyes. “I am Helena, your maid, my lady.” I waved her off, already annoyed. I had told Tamlin I wanted to be alone and yet he had pushed a maid on to me, without telling me?. “You can leave, I can look after myself. I appreciate it, but I’ve been looking after myself long enough. I do not need a maid.”

Shock spread over her face and I held back a growl at when she still stayed where she was. Was it so much to ask to be alone?

“My lady, my High Lord has given me this honourable position to be your maid, and I do not wish to receive his anger by leaving your side- “. “I will take the force of his anger, Helena, but I do not wish to have a maid, especially one who will spy on me and report my every move back to my mate.” Her eyes flashed defiantly, and I stared back, feeling my hair turn white, as it did when my temper rose. I was not going to bow down to Tamlin’s will.

“Fine, I will leave then, goodnight _my lady_ ” she practically spat out those last two words and as she made to leave, I caught her, shadows writhing around me, and pushed her against the wall. “Do not disrespect me again, _servant_ ” I spat back, my mood becoming fouler by the second. I was not going to be a push over, and it was clear she had no respect for me.

I let her go and she fled to the door, leaving, slamming it shut behind her.

_If Tamlin wanted to play games, then I was going to play dirty._

* * *

Not three minutes later, the bedroom door opened and Tamlin stormed in, and saw me lying on the bed, eyes closed, a wet cloth over my forehead. He was instantly at my side, hands sliding underneath me, picking me up and placing me on his lap. “Rhea, what’s wrong? Tell me!”

I sighed, opening my eyes. “I have a headache, I shouted at the maid, Helena, because I feel home-sick…I didn’t mean to be so disrespectful towards her, I normally aren’t, but I miss Velaris!” Tamlin held me tighter, a growl slipping out. “You will learn to adjust, Rhea, just give it time, Helena is not necessary, if you do not wish to have a maid, then I will respect your wishes. In time, you will wish for your own maid, and you will have the choice to choose which one.”

_It didn’t matter which one. They would still be a spy for Tamlin._

It felt wrong to be in the Spring Court, to be held by Tamlin. I could feel the mating bond between us but…I knew who and what he was. I suddenly realised the position we were both in. I was on his lap, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, an intimate position: which I didn’t like or feel comfortable with.

To be tied to my father’s enemy…a male who had taken his mate and tried to lay claim to her…Rhys and Tamlin would never accept being allies. And if I could never accept my mating bond to Tamlin, I could never be his mate.

Suddenly, I felt Tamlin’s lips press to the side of my face, and I froze, not knowing what to do. If he tried anything…

“I feel tired” I said, hoping he’d get it.

Tamlin pressed another kiss to my face, only to my cheek, and then another just a few centimetres away from my mouth and I pulled away, smiling gently. “I feel tired from the events of today, I wish to sleep, if you don’t mind.” Tamlin grounded his jaw, and for a split second I thought he would refuse to leave, but then he slid off the bed and I saw a glimpse of claws at his hands. Being told to leave his mate’s bedroom probably hit a blow to his ego.

_Well if he wanted to stay mated to me, he’d have to get used to it._

“I will see you in the morning, Rhea” he said stiffly and then winnowed away and I bit my lip.

_Hopefully he’d stay away._

* * *

I tried to sleep, but my new surroundings and soft pillows made it impossible. Eventually, I gave up, and started playing with the shadows, turning them into shapes. When that grew boring, I stepped out on to the balcony, and looked up at the night sky. It didn’t seem as beautiful as it was in Velaris, but it was still a beauty.

“Rhea!”

I heard the voice and jumped, startled, about to let a yelp loose when a hand covered my mouth and I looked up at Rhys.


	20. Chapter 20

“Are you alright?” asked Rhys, and I nodded, throwing my arms around him, hugging him with all my strength. “I miss you, I miss Azzy and Cassy and- “. “Azzy and Cassy?”. The amusement in his voice made me smile up at him. “It’s a mouthful to say their full names.”

We talked about everything: about Velaris, the Inner Circle, how much we missed each other until finally the topic of Tamlin came up. “Do I get to kill him?”. I raised an eyebrow at my father, who had his wings out, as we sat up in the ancient oak tree, his wings hanging down past the branches. My wings were smaller than his and thinner, but in a way…they looked similar.

“Not just yet” I replied, dry humour in my voice and Rhys threw a leaf at me. “Let me know as soon as possible if the opportunity arises when he dares to lay a hand on you.”

I threw the leaf back at him. “if the opportunity did come around, I’d throw him to Bryaxis. He needs a plaything. He’s lonely.” Rhys threw the leaf back. “The _creature of nightmares_ is lonely?” I shrugged, leaning back against the hard oak of the tree. “Even monsters need a bit of loving.” I threw the leaf at him again. “Speaking of monsters, how is Amren?”

Rhys laughed, breaking a twig off a low hanging branch and threw it at me. “Misses you deeply. I’ll make sure to pass on your ever-so-sweet message.” I threw the twig back. “She stole my shoes.” He threw it back. “Because you ate her honey cake.” I shrugged, turning the twig to ice and threw it back. “It looked nice, tasted like shit.”

Suddenly we were on the ground, Rhys’s hands on my shoulders. “Tamlin’s sentries are heading this way. I’m I am bringing you back to Velaris?” The longing in his voice wasn’t masked, and the hope. I shook my head, feeling guilty already. I didn’t know the full extent of Tamlin and Rhys’s history but knew they hated each other with a passion.

“He seems like a prick so far, but I can’t just reject him so quickly without getting to know him better” Rhys’s jaw clenched but it quickly disappeared.

“Rhea, please, I need you back at Velaris…Azriel needs you. He’s gotten even more quieter.”

I could hear the sentries now. I wrapped my arms around my father, feeling near tears. “I give you my word that I will return in a few days, father, I do not know the full extent of your history with Tamlin, but he is my mate and he deserves for me not to just plain out reject him.”

“I understand, Rhea” said Rhys quietly and then placed a kiss to my forehead. “In four days’ time, I will be in your bedroom. If you wish to return to Velaris and never return here, I will gladly fight a war over you to keep you away from Tamlin.”

And the High Lord of the Night Court turned into shadows and disappeared.

* * *

The sentries escorted me back to the manor where I met with Tamlin, who looked me over for injuries.

“Would you like to go somewhere?” asked Tamlin, his golden hair tied back. I nodded, standing up. “Any ideal places?”. “Whatever you think is best” I answered and suddenly we were by a clear lake. “This lake is said to be full of the tears of my grandfather, after his mate died, he knelt by this lake for days and wept tears, and eventually, the tears formed into magic. He died by this lake and his body fell into the water and dissolved. The legend states that anyone who swims in the lake, is granted the power of my grandfather.”

I raised an eyebrow at the morbid legend. “Romantic, aren’t you?”

Tamlin laughed. “Well, no one ever swam in the lake, because apparently, it was cursed by his mate.”

* * *

“How exactly does a dead female curse a lake _after_ she died?”. Tamlin shrugged. “No one knows. But it is quite the legend. I suggest you don’t try swimming in this particular lake.”

_The power of a former High Lord of the Spring Court…_

Well how bad could a curse be?

I jumped into the lake.


	21. Chapter 21

The water consumed me, seemingly wrapping around me, dragging me down as power washed over me. I struggled, lashing out with my power and a loud screech filled my ears. I thrashed in the water as my power defended me, turning the watery liquid to ice.

_Stop!_

The voice filled my ears, but my lungs burned as I fought against the strange force.

_Stop! You have my power, female, stop what you are doing, or you will kill us both!_

The fear of dying crept in and I kicked my legs, trying to swim but the liquid had turned into shackles and was holding me down. I looked around in my watery prison. Only water, with a seemingly never- ending bottom. Shadows crept around the shackles and tore through the liquid, the shackles disappearing.

I kicked my legs and suddenly something grabbed me by the shoulder and yanked me out of the water. I coughed and sputtered, water erupting from my throat as Tamlin held me, breathing in the air. The voice had disappeared from my mind and Tamlin held me until I regained control and managed to stop coughing.

“What were you doing?”. I looked at Tamlin, my breathing still ragged. “I was curious to see if the legend was true. It was.” _“What?”_

I suddenly became very aware of the position I was in. Tamlin was kneeling on the grass by the lake, my body in his arms, his right arm wrapped around my waist, his left arm around my legs. The position was uncomfortable for me and strange.

“The legend is true. Your grandfather…or something is in the lake. It started speaking to me when I began attacking it with my powers.” Tamlin stroked my face, the side of his claws running across my skin. “I thought the worse. I was terrified. If you had died…”

Now I really was uncomfortable. I wasn’t used to feelings such as love or…sexual. And I didn’t want to explore them much.

“I feel hungry.”

Tamlin barked a laugh. “You nearly drown in a cursed lake, and you feel hungry?”

“I’m strange. Deal with it.”

* * *

After nearly drowning in Tamlin’s dead grandfather’s cursed lake, I ate without a care in the world.

Stranger things had happened to me.

I was quite curious though if the legend was true about the bit about the High Lord’s powers. I didn’t have an urge to turn into a raging beast or could manipulate the air so that part could have been false. And the dead guy in the lake could have been lying just to get me to stop attacking him.

Afterwards, Tamlin had me checked out by a healer who said I was in perfect health, but I refused a full body check. I wasn’t sure did I want Tamlin knowing of my scars and burns. No one except Azriel and Eris Vanserra had seen my wings but I rarely trusted.

Eris Vanserra had been a…complicated male in my life but I didn’t regret meeting him. He had been kind, and caring, but had also been merciless and cold. He had saved me from my prison, and so I had felt bound to marry him to seal my debt. He had wanted to marry me to join all three Courts and I nearly had, if Rhys hadn’t heard of me and gone to the Autumn Court to see if the rumours were true.

Eris and I hadn’t talked since I had left the Court.

I contemplated for a while and then grabbed a quill and parchment and wrote

Eris,

I am sorry that I left you. But I have gotten to know my father and I do not regret it. I hope in the future, we can remain friends, and not feel hatred towards each other. I do not think I could bear it if you despised me. You may have heard by now that I am mated to the High Lord of the Spring Court. I am torn between my loyalty to my father and the bond to my mate. I wish I was still in hearing of your advice.

I hope you are well. I am sorry that I did not become your wife, but it never would have worked if I had met Tamlin afterwards. Being married to the High Lord of the Autumn Court and being mated to the High Lord of the Spring Court wouldn’t have gone down well. I will always be in your debt for what you did for me.

I hope that we meet again in the future, old friend.

Rhea.

* * *

I signed it off, waiting for the ink to dry. I left it on the dresser, dragging a hairbrush through my hair. Tamlin had gone to settle something with a Captain of his and had promised not to be long. The sky was darkening, and I was considering a fairly dangerous plan. Obviously, it had to be dangerous, otherwise it wouldn’t be fun. I waited for Tamlin to return and he kept to his word, winnowing right into my bedroom. I wasn’t sure was that a good or bad thing. I didn’t like the idea that anyone could just pop into my bedroom.

“Supper is ready, join me?” he said, and I nodded and took hold of his arm and he winnowed us straight to the dining room where supper was in fact ready.

“Tell me of your life” said Tamlin as I was cutting into a piece of meat. I paused, wondering how much I should tell him, then decided that if he found out in the near future that I wasn’t completely honest, he could be pissed off. “Well, I’m only twenty. For the first fifteen years, I was a prisoner Under the Mountain, personal plaything of Amarantha. For the five, I was in the Autumn Court, and for the past while, I’ve been in the Night Court.”

Tamlin’s face was full of shock. “You…you were Under the Mountain?” I nodded, spearing a piece of meat with my fork. “Born there, tortured there.” “Because you were Rhysand’s daughter?” I nodded. “My father went off with another female, which Amarantha did not appreciate. She killed the female when she gave birth to me, and then tortured me for fifteen years, keeping me in an isolated room where I became one of her many playthings. I do not blame my father though, I only blame Amarantha, may her soul be tortured for all eternity.”

I chewed on the piece of meat before swallowing. I let out a yelp as suddenly Tamlin was right beside me, his arms around me, growling.

“What did she do to you?”

Claws had slipped out of his knuckles. Shit.

“I’d rather not go into detail if you wouldn’t mind, Tamlin” I said quietly, and his hand covered mine. “I understand…Rhea…how did you survive? What that bitch did to you…” he trailed off, his body shaking. “My father helped me through it. And the thought of one day ripping her head from her body helped me.”

Tamlin placed a kiss to my collarbone. “I swear to you, Rhea, no one will ever hurt you like that again. I will never lay a hand to you. Anyone who tries, I will rip apart.”

He raised his face to mine and suddenly leaned in and kissed me


	22. Chapter 22

I knelt by the pool, shocked as hell.

Tamlin had kissed me. And I had kissed him back. The memory of straddling him, his claws out while we kissed, the shadows around me, Tamlin’s hands on my waist, mine on his neck, other in his hair, stunned me.

Why did I let that happen?

Afterwards, I had quickly retired to bed, before sneaking out to the cursed pool where I now was. I needed answers about the legend. Also had to distract myself from the possibility that I may, or may not be falling for Tamlin, my fathers enemy.

I placed my hand on the water, making sure to keep all skin visible, ready to rip away if the liquid formed a shackle.

**_Who are you?_ **

Damn. Sounded a bit like Bryaxis.

_I am Rhea, mate of Tamlin, High Lord of the Spring Court._

**_Why did you jump into the lake?_ **

_Curiosity._

It was silent for a while and then-

**_CURIOSITY? YOU DISTURBED MY ETERNAL SLEEP BECAUSE YOU WERE CURIOUS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE, FOOLISH GIRL? YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! YOU HAVE WOKEN AN ANCIENT EVIL THAT I GAVE MY LIFE TO IMPRISON! AND THAT IS RUINED NOW BECAUSE SOME FEMALE WAS CURIOUS?!_ **

_Well, you weren’t exactly clear in your legend about the ancient evil!_

**_YOU HAVE DOOMED US ALL, GIRL! YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED, AS ARE THE LIVES OF ALL FAE! YOU STOLE MY POWER, THE ONLY THING TRAPPING THE EVIL BY JUMPING INTO THE LAKE!_ **

_What is the ancient evil?_

**_Far worse than the Bone Carver, the Weaver or the creature of nightmares that the High Lord of the Night Court hides in his secret city. Worse than the King of Hybern, or the red-headed female Amarantha. This evil is now free to do what it wants, and nothing will stop it!_ **

_What is it?_

**_Before Fae roamed these lands, before mortals existed, evil roamed the earth. It took the form of a white-haired male that had power over the elements. He called himself the Dark God and that was what he was, and no one could stop him! When I was alive, I knew of such evil and entrapped it in this lake with me and was willing to spend an eternity away from my beloved mate to save our future descendants, but YOU CHANGED THAT!_ **

* * *

What I assumed was Tamlin’s grandfather refused to talk to me anymore after that. Couldn’t blame him. Spent the better part of around a thousand years trapped in the lake, imprisoning an ancient evil, and I released it. I wasn’t sure should I tell Tamlin. The fact that I jumped into a ‘cursed’ lake, angered the spirit of his dead grandfather, released an ancient evil that was far worse than Amarantha…

Probably shouldn’t mention it for a long while.

Tamlin’s grandfather had mentioned Bryaxis. Maybe Bryaxis knew of the creature I released. I had to get back to Velaris. Rhys would be at the Spring Court in a few days. I just had to make sure nothing bad happened within the next few days.

Couldn’t be that hard.

Could it?

* * *

Tamlin had gone into my chambers, seen I was gone, and had gone crazy. Literally _crazy._ My room was in shreds, everything torn apart. The walls had deep etched in claw marks, the old ancient chest was in a thousand splinters, the wooden bed frame was destroyed, as was the door. Everything had been destroyed.

Tamlin was in his beast form, standing in the middle of the remains of the room, snarling, eyes on the floor, everything about him screamed _dangerous._

“I was only gone for half an hour” I sighed, and his eyes snapped to me. Instantly, he morphed back into his Fae form, eyes wild, hair tangled, his hands covered in blood. _His blood._ He had torn into his skin; his clothes were torn and bloody and his green eyes were focused on me. “Rhea” he growled, and snarls ripped through him that nearly made me shudder. “You…didn’t leave.” I stepped forward, touching his face with my hand, stroking the defined features of his face. Tamlin closed his hands, visibly relaxing under my touch. I felt guilty at what I had done, leaving without a trace.

“I went back to the lake, I had questions that needed to be answered” I told him, and his eyes snapped open. “That was too dangerous, you should have come to me, and I would have accompanied you. What happened before…. you nearly died. I would have gone mad with grief if your heart had stopped.”

I stepped closer, swallowing at the inner voice in my mind, screaming at me not to get too close. Tamlin bowed his head to mind, his forehead touching mine.

“I am sorry, I did not know that you would check up on me” I honestly answered and Tamlin’s hands snaked around my waist. “Please, do not frighten me like that ever again” murmured Tamlin, and I thought back to what my father said.

_“In four days’ time, I will be in your bedroom. If you wish to return to Velaris and never return here, I will gladly fight a war over you to keep you away from Tamlin.”_

“Tamlin…I have something to tell you.” Tamlin raised his head, nodding for me to go on. “In three days time, my father will return to bring me to Velaris.”

Not a moment later, Tamlin changed into his beast form.

And all I felt was pain.


	23. Chapter 23

All I could remember, was the agonising pain.

The shadows flaring out, trying to defend me against the attack of the High Lord.

My mate.

I had lashed out with all I had, every cornel of magic I had, I poured into my defence and as his claws tore through me, my powers blasted him backwards. I had turned into shadows and fled. All I could feel was pain, the agonising pain, that reminded me too much of Amarantha. I blocked out everything, the pain, the memories that were threatening to spill over, the roaring of Tamlin as I was desperate to get away.

I flew over the Spring Court border, feeling weakened from my wounds. I couldn’t stay in shadow form forever. I was too tired and dizzy.

My vision was darkening and in one last burst of desperation, I went faster, and then I collided with the ground and all I saw was darkness rushing towards me.

* * *

I awoke to familiar surroundings. The bed I was in, I had once slept in, for five years.

I was in the Autumn Court.

I sat up quickly, and cried out, pain flashing through me. I shifted my weight carefully and looked up and saw Eris sitting in the corner, watching me.

He had cut his long red hair, and it seemed darker than before. He had developed more muscle and he wore the Autumn Court attire. His sword was strapped to his waist, the handle carved into the head of a fox, the blade shining silver.

“Tamlin did that to you” he asked, no _stated,_ and I nodded, holding my side, carefully as I slipped out from under the corners, trying to stand. My legs gave out and I fell forward but, in an instant, Eris winnowed to my side, catching me. I looked up at him, eyes wide. “Eris, please, you have no reason to want to help me, but please don’t send me back to Tamlin.”

Eris helped me back into the bed, and sat down on it, looking up at me, his amber eyes which I had always found startling, but they were mesmerizing. “I may be many things” he told me, voice low, “but I would never send you back to Tamlin.”

I looked around the room, surprised to see nothing had changed. Everything I had left behind was still in place where I had left it. “Thank you” I said, trying to figure out how I ended up here.

_Fleeing through the forest, injured, desperate to get away from Tamlin, who’s roars I could still hear…_

“How did I end up here?”. Eris leaned over to the bed-side table and he poured a glass of water for me and handed it to me. I drank gratefully, my throat dry. “You crossed the border, and it alerted my sentries to your presence. They found you injured and unconscious and…. without clothes on.”

At least Eris had the grace to sound awkward.

I finished the rest of the water and suddenly it filled up again, right to the brim and I thanked Eris before finishing the water.

“What about Tamlin?” I asked, putting the glass on the table. Eris ran a hand through his red hair, making it stick up more.m“He has contacted me, Kallias, and the other surrounding High Lords. I presume Rhysand has no idea you have rejected Tamlin.” I sighed, closing my eyes. “I’m not going back there.” Eris placed a hand on my knee. “I would never send you back to Tamlin. You can stay here, or I can send word to Rhysand for him to come and get you.” I shook my head. “I don’t need my father ripping Tamlin apart. Can I stay here for a while?”

Eris stood, his hand running through his red hair again. “I wouldn’t ever kick you out. If you wish to stay here for a longer period of time, then you are welcome.”

_If this was about the whole marriage thing…._

“Thank you, Eris…for everything” I said, and he nodded and then winnowed away.

* * *

The Autumn Court had changed.

It seemed brighter, happier, but the sentries were wearing full on body armour and I noticed there were unfamiliar sentries that had slits in the back of their armour: Illyrians.

The Illyrians had tattoos on their sides of the faces, like a mark that showed that they were Illyrians. Their armour was different, lighter, and Siphons glowed on their armour. Eris seemed keen on having sentries around at all times. Every room was guarded, and when I looked out a window, there were several new buildings outside the mansion, and males trained in harsh conditions.

_Was he worried about someone? Or something?_

I asked one of the sentries I knew from my time at the Autumn Court where to find Eris and he told me that Eris was in training.

Training?

Since when did Eris Vanserra _train?_

I went down to the barracks and froze.

Eris, in the middle of the training grounds, bare-chested, only holding his sword, was standing off against five Illyrians in full armour.

I watched as they attacked, only using physical strength, not drawing on their powers and Eris did the same. They only attacked by strength and I watched as Eris eliminated all but one: the strongest of the five Illyrians, the tallest and broadest.

They fought bloody, without honour and after ten seconds, the Illyrian laid on the sand, unconscious, with his arms broken.

Eris walked over to a servant girl who handed him a towel and a glass of water without question, and he wiped down his face before draining the glass of water. I walked over to him and he looked in my direction and no emotion passed his face. His façade of being cruel. I was used to him having to act that way in public. But I knew he hadn’t been born that way, Beron had ruined him over the course of five centuries.

“Rhea” he acknowledged me, and I nodded slightly back at him. “High Lord.” The corner of his mouth tilted upwards at my greeting, but it disappeared in an instant. “Walk with me” he said, and I went to his side and he led us away from the training arena. “Put on a shirt” I immediately said when we were alone, and he laughed but a shirt suddenly appeared on him and I sat down on the wooden fence.

It wasn’t like he was the ugliest male to walk the earth, I just didn’t like sexual scenarios.

“I’ve been thinking for a while” I announced, and he sat down on the fence as well. “I should contact my father, last time we spoke, he told me he would be in the Spring Court in four days’ time. That was three days ago. He may be slightly worried if he learns I ran away because Tamlin got me with his claws.”

Eris nodded, and I liked that side of him. The reasonable part of him. “Makes sense, don’t need him barging in to the Autumn Court, demanding to search the place for you.”

I clicked my tongue. “Eris, I am in your debt for everything you have done for me. Rescuing me from my prison, helping me heal, being there for me. Even when I turned against you, to be with my father, you did not hate me. You could have left me in the forest for Tamlin to find, but you didn’t. I care for you, I truly do, but I do not know what _love_ is. I do not feel it for Tamlin, or for you, I do not even know how to love a family member feels like.”

“Rhea, you do not have to love me in the way I love you” he eventually said, and I looked at him wide-eyed and he laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m not _in love_ with you, but I do care for you, and love you. Whether as a friend, or potential lover, I do not know, but I would not betray you, know that. I do not know what your father told you about me, the things he told you, they are true, but I am different since my father died and my brothers ‘disappeared’. I thought that marrying you, would secure my title as High Lord and having alliances through you were worth it, but I should not have tried to use you like that. I am sorry.”

I shifted closer to Eris and put my hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, for everything. I swear to not tell anyone that you act like a fox but in fact you’re a tamed pup.”

Eris’s laugh echoed throughout the surroundings.

* * *

I sent word to my father. Azriel answered. He was at my side in a matter of an hour, checking me over for injuries and then nearly going for Eris when he set eyes on him. I managed to pull Azriel away and told him it wasn’t Eris who caused my injuries.

“Who did it? Was it Tamlin?”

His voice was deadly, I never heard it like that since I had first met him. It was emotionless but edged with a dangerous intent and the shadows seemed darker.

“He lost control” I said quietly and Azriel stayed silent for a few moments and then…

“I am going to rip him apart.”


	24. Chapter 24

Two weeks later, and I was still trying to convince Azriel _not_ to kill Tamlin. I had gone back to Velaris but had kept it secret that Tamlin had physically hurt me before I managed to escape. I had begged Azriel not to tell anyone, but I knew if it came up, he’d spill it to Rhys in a heartbeat. I didn’t want Tamlin dead. I had known Tamlin had a temper but…I was scared to go back.

Word had gotten out that I had left the Spring Court. Everyone had left the Court, and Tamlin had gone into a frenzy, killing everything he could sink his claws into. Many of his servants and sentries had died, by his hand, something I knew, was my fault. Their deaths were on my conscious. I should have gone back to the Spring Court sooner.

“What am I supposed to do?”

_Let me out and I will exact revenge for the wounds he inflicted upon you._

Cold shadows brushed my leg and I sighed. “Bryaxis…he’s my mate but I don’t want to be with him. I don’t want to feel anything towards him. He’s a monster. What he did to Feyre…my father has a worse vendetta though, but…”

_You speak of the old Lady of the Night Court and of its female heir._

“Bryaxis, what do you mean?” I asked, dread rising at what I thought it was.

_The former High Lord of the Spring Court took the heads of the High Lord of the Night Court’s mother and sister. His sons cut off their heads and sent them in a box to your father and grandfather. It is well known among Fae. Tamlin’s father killed your grandfather. He took the wings of your aunt and grandmother and pinned them in his study._

Tamlin played a part in my grandmother and aunt’s deaths… No wonder Rhys held such hatred towards Tamlin…

I felt tears rise, not tears of sadness, but of anger. Tamlin was my mate. How could fate be so cruel as to pair me with a monster? What my father had gone through…he had received their heads…Tamlin’s father had kept their wings as trophies. No wonder Rhys didn’t want me to be mated to Tamlin.

I was mated to my father’s worst enemy.

_The feelings you are experiencing are normal, sweet female. You should not know of such darkness or pain, but you are cursed to feel these. Be glad of your gentle heart, for monsters do not have that._

“Bryaxis…I can never go back to Tamlin” I whispered, my voice breaking, and those cold shadows stroked my cheek.

_Stay with the monsters who have gentleness towards you, and you will never be hurt._

* * *

“Rhea, what’s wrong?”

I walked straight up to Rhys and threw my arms around him, tears falling from my eyes and he hugged me back and I sobbed into his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry for the pain I caused you, father.” Rhys pulled away, confusion in his eyes and I cried more. “I’m sorry that I’m mated to a monster who took part in your family’s death.” Rhys didn’t talk anymore, he just took me back into his arms and held me. And I felt tears soak my shoulder that fell from his eyes.

* * *

I told him.

I told him of what Tamlin did, morphing into his beast form and ripping my torso with his claws.

Rhys was shaking after, from fury, that Tamlin could have taken me also, like his sister and mother had been taken.

I was never going back to Tamlin. Never. I didn’t want to look at him. The mating bond between us didn’t matter.

I was going to break my destiny. I was not going to be the consort to a High Lord who had taken part in murdering my family members.

He could rot away in the prison he called his Court.

* * *

We were making a trip to the Court of Nightmares.

The Hewn City was known as the Court of Nightmares and Rhys’s uncle ruled over it. I knew of the Hewn City: it was known for its cruelty and sadistic ways and followed old traditions. I knew Rhys’s didn’t want me going, but everyone already knew I existed so there was no point in not going. I was curious to see the rest of his domain and Rhys knew that.

Azriel said he was going to be by my side all the time. I didn’t doubt that.

Rhys, Azriel, Cassian, Mor, Feyre and I were going. Amren was going to stay behind to make sure Velaris got by. Azriel told me later, Mor did not care to go to the Hewn City. I did not push it when I saw the look on her face.

Rhys gave me a dress made of a soft silk-like fabric that was the colour of the night sky. It covered my back and shoulders and clung tightly to my chest and stomach but flowed out past my hips. It was a beautiful dress and I kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for the dress.

“Ready to go little one?” asked Cassian and I nodded, and he went forward but a scarred hand stopped him, and he grinned at Azriel who’s stare made Cassian back down. “Aw, come on, is no one except you allowed to winnow her?”. I laughed at how protective Azriel was. Azriel picked me up and I wrapped my arms around his neck, yawning loudly and he looked down at me. I shrugged, laying my face on his shoulder. “I’m tired.”

“We’re leaving, Feyre! Feyre! Your dress is beautiful and isn’t creased! Get in here!”. I started laughing at Cassian’s remarks and not a moment later, Feyre and Rhys were in the same room, and Rhys looked at me.

“Az is not your personal winnower” said Rhys, looking amused and I smiled. “He doesn’t seem to mind.” “Yeah because he adores you.” I saw Azriel’s cheeks turn red and smirked. He looked down at me and I tilted my head up at him. “I adore you too, Azzy, so don’t worry.”

“Aww, he’s so whipped when it comes to her.”

“Shut up you’re the new play-thing for Bryaxis” threatened Azriel and Cassian shut up.

* * *

The Hewn City looked a lot like Under the Mountain.

I mentioned this, and Rhys told me that Amarantha got inspiration from the Court of Nightmares for her prison. I shivered at the memory of Eris carrying me through the underground prison. Azriel tightened his grip on me and I hoped he’d never let me go.

Azriel carried me through the Hewn City, like he was afraid for me to touch the ground. Cassian and Rhys and Feyre stayed silent, and when I saw sentries, I told Azriel to let me down, but he didn’t let go of my hand.

The Hewn City had statues, which I assumed were of old High Lords or Fae of importance. The last statue I saw looked very familiar and when I looked at the plaque, it read _Rhysand._

“The cheekbones are off” I remarked and when Rhys saw what I was looking at, he laughed.

Suddenly Azriel pulled me to the side and bent down and whispered in my ear.

“Do not speak to that bastard, even if he speaks to you, if he looks your way, I will rip him apart. If he mentions your abilities as a shadow-singer, or as Rhys’s daughter, do not even acknowledge him.”  
I looked up at him, wide-eyed and nodded.

Who did he mean?

* * *

My father and Feyre had _thrones._

When I laid eyes on them, I froze. The taller, more broader _terrifying_ throne, I knew it was my fathers. He was High Lord of the Night Court, the most powerful High Lord among them. He bowed before no one. Except for his mate.

But he was a monster to everyone.

I stood straight, closing my eyes and I let my power out. When I opened up, Azriel was staring at me, everyone was, and I saw the sentries were on their knees, shaking.

_What did I do?_

“Rhea, what just happened?”. I turned to Azriel and froze when I heard a voice. A voice I had blocked out for years. Tried to erase from my memory. I started shaking when I realised who the voice belonged to.

_Why didn’t I realise he’d be here?_

I could feel a panic attack coming on, and I couldn’t bring myself to turn.

“Rhea, what’s wrong? Rhea?”

“Keir Darkbringer…why is he here?” I managed to say and Azriel took me to the side, hands on my shoulders, holding me close. I could feel the terror taking over at the memories that were consuming me.

_Chained in a dark room, an iron mask over my face…Amarantha’s laughter…her fingers digging into my neck. “You’re going to be ruined when this is over” she purred into my ear and I could hear faint footsteps…a male’s voice…A voice I would never forget… “Why am I here, Amarantha?” …Amarantha’s voice answering… “To defile her of course.”_

I could feel my power unravelling, at the tip of spilling over. I looked over and saw Rhys was watching me, and Cassian was walking over, and I caught sight of the male that was in my nightmares.

_His voice I would never forget._

“Rhea, do you know Keir Darkbringer?” questioned Azriel, and I felt something stirring inside me, growling in my head, wanting nothing more than to rip Azriel apart. It blocked out the shadows, and I could feel claws slip out of my fingers.

_Strong hands gripping me, forcing me over, I could feel the power radiating from the male, the fear I could feel coursing through me…“Don’t struggle” growled the male and I screamed through the mask as he settled over me…_

“He raped me” I managed to say before my power broke through and the foreign beast within broke free.


	25. Chapter 25

I woke up with black fur covering my entire body. I blinked sleepily, trying to move but everything felt _wrong._ I looked down and yelped. I had paws! I scrambled to my feet, but I kept on slipping, and my head felt so heavy, like I had a hangover. I looked around, eyes wide, trying to speak but all that would come out were growls and snarls.

“Rhea?”

I looked to the left and saw Azriel sitting by my bed, his face full of confusion but his eyes…they were full of untamed rage.

What had happened?

_Talking with Azriel…being in the Court of Nightmares…hearing a voice…_

Keir Darkbringer.

I whined, trying to escape the memories that threatened to overwhelm me.

“Rhea, look at me, focus on me, don’t think of nothing else” said Azriel, by my side in an instant, hand in my fur, his other tilting my large head up. He stared down at me, and I whined at him, terrified of what had happened to me. “Think of your Fae form” he told me, voice soft, his hand stroking my fur, trying to make me calm, “think of every aspect of yourself. Imagine transforming into that. Keep calm, Rhea, don’t panic.”

I tried doing what he told me, imagining my Fae form…my blue-black hair…blue eyes…

Immediately I felt lightened and a soft blanket was thrown over me and Azriel averted his eyes while I fixed the blanket over me, wrapping it around me.

“What…how did I became…” I trailed off and Azriel sighed. “Did you…mate with…Tamlin?” he managed to say, and I shook my head. “I…had a bit of trouble with his dead grandfather.”

Azriel’s eyebrows rose.

“There was a cursed lake…his dead grandfather’s spirit was in the lake and there was a legend of the lake is full of the tears of his grandfather, after his mate died, he knelt by the lake for days and wept tears, and eventually, the tears formed into magic. He died by the lake and his body fell into the water and dissolved. Apparently, anyone who goes into the lake, is cursed, but is given the power of the dead High Lord…I kind of jumped in and he tried to kill me.”

The look on Azriel’s face was priceless.

“So, you jumped into the lake…and was given the power of the old High Lord of the Spring Court…makes sense. Rhea, after what…you told me…you sent out so much power it made us all _fall to the ground._ So much power radiated from you. And then you just…morphed into that creature.”

“I’m not a High Lord though, or High Lady…”. “But you stole the power from a dead one.”

Okay, now I was officially confused. “But I thought when a High Lord dies, his power transfers to the next…”. Azriel shrugged elegantly. “No one knows…Rhea…did Keir Darkbringer really rape you?”

I flinched.

“Amarantha wanted me to suffer” I said quietly, “she one day came in with a male. The power that rolled off him…I was terrified and begged him to stop but he…”. Azriel started shaking, and he got off the bed, and I scrambled over to him, wrapping my arms around him. “Az, please talk to me.” “Cassian and Rhys are with Keir right now. I’m going to join them…” Azriel turned, cupping my face with his hands and leaned in and our foreheads touched. “I swear to you, Rhea, Keir Darkbringer will _suffer_ for what he did to you, I’m going to make him suffer, like he made you suffer.”

I trembled at the name, and Azriel took me into his arms, and held me tightly. I cried into his shirt, and I heard the door open and looked up. My father stood there. His clothes were soaked in blood, his hair wild. His hands were cut and, in an instant.

“Rhea” he said, his voice deep, almost growling and Azriel let go of me and Rhys was embracing me, almost strangling me with his tight hold. Rhys let go of me and fell to his knees in front of me, looking up at me and my heart stopped at seeing the broken expression on his face. “Rhea, I’m so sorry…I don’t deserve your forgiveness…I let that happen to you. I should have gotten you out of that place…”

Rhys looked up at me, and I could see dried blood in his hair. I put my hands on his shoulder, and my tears fell into his blue-black hair. “Father, I have never blamed you for what Amarantha and Keir Darkbringer did to you. _Never.”_

I buried my face in his hair, crying silently.

And we stayed like that.

* * *

“Bryaxis…I…I don’t know how to deal with this.”

Bryaxis’s icy shadows brushed against my cheek. 

_Let me free of my prison. Let me free and I will exact revenge upon the male who hurt you._

I stroked the cold shadows that were caressing my cheek. “I would love nothing more than to do that, but this is something I have to do myself.”

_Is he dead?_

I closed my eyes, collapsing against the stone wall. “No…they are making him suffer. Cassian, Azriel, Rhys, Mor, Amren, Feyre…but I can’t bring myself to look upon him because I’m afraid if I do, I’ll turn into that High Lord form again.”

_Do not be afraid of who or what you are. Embrace everything that you are. Your powers, memories, your heritage. You are the daughter of the High Lord of the Night Court, the niece to the High Lord of the Winter Court, bearer of the power of the Spring Court. You have survived through what no one else could._

“Bryaxis…thank you for everything.”

_Everything?_

“For letting me speak of the darkness in my life.”

_Do not thank me. You are pleasurable company, little female._

I smiled, and then remembered what I had to talk to him about.

“Bryaxis…do you know of an ancient evil in the Spring Court?

_You mean besides the High Lord?_

I laughed at his dry sense of humour. “Something that resides in a cursed lake.”

Bryaxis was silent.

_You woke the ancient Dark God?_

I swallowed at his words.

“I didn’t mean to…I jumped into a lake that Tamlin told me was cursed. That it was filled with the power of his grandfather. When I went back to the lake, his grandfather told me that a Dark God had been imprisoned in the lake, held captive by his powers. He had white hair and had control over the elements.”

_His name must not be spoken. Names have powers. He is worse than any creature that roams this earth. You must find him and entrap him again. He cannot be killed._

My mouth was dry. What had I released? “How…how do I find him?”

_You have the power of his former jailer. You are bound to him. Reach through the bond that you share with the dark god and you will find him._

* * *

I knew what I had to do. I was going to finish what Amarantha had started with me. I intended to end it with Keir Darkbringer. With his death. I knew where he was being held. Azriel had told me Keir was being held in the ancient prison on the edge of Velaris, where criminals were held. With a flick of my power, the sentries fell to the ground unconscious and would not wake until I commanded them to.

Within five minutes, I found Keir. He was bound to the wall by chains and every inch of him was covered in blood.

The fingers on his left hand were gone, they looked like a blunt knife had been taken to them, sawing at the flesh and bone, until the male was screaming in agonising pain. His left eye looked like it had been carved out in the most painful way possible. His entire face was slashed by claws and I gagged when I saw what had been done to him.

He had been castrated.

I reminded myself that he deserved it.

But I bet Azriel had been the one to do it.

Both of his legs were completely crushed, the bones looked like they had been pulverised. The bone was jutting up through his skin, and it looked infected.

Not that anyone cared.

I walked forward, looking over him. His clothes were gone, torn from him. His skin was slashed, and when he raised his head weakly, I reminded myself he was chained.

“The female who is the cause of my pain” he said, his voice weak, but the sneer in his voice was noticeable. I grabbed him by the arm and hauled him up and he growled in pain. I shoved him on to the bench and leaned against the wall, trying to hold on to my façade of an emotionless bitch.

“You brought this on yourself” I replied coldly, and he laughed dryly. “You know, the Illyrian bastard-born wanted to rip out my tongue but my nephew wanted to hear my screams.”

_Nephew?_

Keir saw the look on my face and his mutilated face broke into a smirk. “You didn’t know? Rhysand is my _nephew.”_

I almost threw up.

“You knew that I was Amarantha’s prisoner” I said, walking forward, my dress getting soaked with his blood on the ground. “You knew that I was her prisoner and you still…did those things to me.”

Keir tried to straighten himself, but he grunted in pain and I saw bones sticking out of his back and I smiled.

“You think I wanted to force myself upon a defenceless female?” he growled, looking up at me with his one good eye. “You hadn’t even had your first bleed and Amarantha came to me, she _forced_ me to.” My eyes flashed at what he said. In an instant, I had him by the throat, claws slipping out and sank into his skin. Keir’s eye widened, and blood dripped down my hand.

_“You were forced to?”_

Keir gagged on his own blood, trying to speak.

_“I was forced to! You had a choice! I didn’t!”_

The claws slid out further and blood trickled out of his mouth.

“You think that you’re going to survive this? You think that because you rule the Hewn City that Rhys will let you live? Because, they won’t. They want your suffering prolonged, but I know of a better way for you to _suffer_.”

“Please…”

I felt the beast within roaring to rip Keir apart. I wanted to, but I knew of someone that wanted to have a _play-thing._

“I’m going to make you suffer” I snarled, “as I suffered.”

* * *

“Please, Rhea, please, have mercy!”

I stared down at him, feeling the shadows writhe around me. “Like you showed me _mercy?_ You showed me absolute no mercy.” The chains around Keir bound his powers. I hauled him up by then and looked into his one good eye. “I _long_ to hear you scream, as I screamed. The night Amarantha told you to rape me, I screamed, and you ignored them.”

“So, I’m going to ignore your pathetic pleas for mercy.”

Then I let my wings out and jumped into the pit. The wind rushed at me, and when I landed, I dragged Keir down the steps, his legs useless. I felt unbelievable rage, but I also felt _glee._ That Keir was going to get what he deserved.

“Bryaxis!” I shouted, and Keir tried pulling away, but he was too weak. “Bryaxis! I have a play-thing for you!”

I could sense Bryaxis, and Keir was begging now, for me to show him mercy. I looked up into the shadows where Bryaxis hid and smiled at him.

“I give you _Keir Darkbringer_ as a present, friend.”

I threw Keir into the middle of the cavern.

And I watched for hours as Bryaxis tore Keir apart.


	26. Chapter 26

I fell asleep in the library.

After I had watched for hours on end, Bryaxis torturing Keir slowly and brutally, Keir’s screams filling the cavern, I had gone back up the library and had fallen asleep amongst the books.

“Rhea, Keir went missing.” I looked up at Cassian, no emotions playing across my face. “I know, I was the one who took him.” Cassian knelt beside me, and when he spoke, his voice was soft and gentle. “Rhea, what did you do?”

My eyes flickered to the pit. Cassian followed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath. “Holy shit, Rhea, you gave him to Bryaxis?”

I looked down at my lap. “It was time to face my demons. I had a…chat with him. Is it true Keir was my father’s uncle?”. “Yes” replied Cassian, quietly.

* * *

Keir was still alive.

After-all, Bryaxis needed a play-thing. But he would suffer. Every day. Until Bryaxis deemed it fit to kill him. Azriel, when he heard the news of what I did to Keir, had merely wrapped an arm around my shoulders. Rhys hadn’t spoken but had relaxed when he heard Bryaxis had “taken care” of Keir.

Mor had hugged me, until my ribs felt like they were going to crack under her embrace. I soon found out Keir was Mor’s father but had been horrible and abusive towards her. So, Mor didn’t care if Keir was dead.

I had stayed silent through everything. I wanted to be by myself.

Which was why I was in the forest, forcing myself to fly.

My wings screamed at me in protest, not ready, but I needed to feel the pain. I had to feel _something._

Why couldn’t I feel anything?

I had thought killing Keir would bring me closure but…I felt nothing. Nothing. No hate, relief, or even guilt for what I did.

“Rhea.” I didn’t bother turning around. “Azriel, please, I want to be alone right now.” I heard his footsteps come closer and I spread my wings, pain ripping along my back. “Rhea, you’re going to hurt yourself, stop.” I turned to him, rage filling me. “ _I don’t care.”_

I shot up into the sky.

The pain was agonising, my back felt like it was on fire again, my wings felt too heavy. I forced them to fly, to keep them up, but suddenly I was tackled, and wings tangled with wings, shadows collided and suddenly I was on the ground again.

 _“Rhea.”_ Azriel was on his knees in front of me, his wings out, eyes on me and I stood. I could feel warm blood trickle down my back and knew I had hurt myself. “I’m tired of being weak” I said quietly, anger in my words, “I don’t want to be chained ever again. I don’t want to be hurt. I don’t want to _cry_ anymore, I want to be _strong.”_

Azriel stood, and I saw blood on his hands. I looked down and saw my claws had slipped out. I stumbled forward, not believing what I had done to Azriel. I took hold of his bloody hand and looked up at him, wide-eyed. “Az, I’m so sorry- “. “It doesn’t matter, Rhea” interrupted Azriel, wiping the blood on his pants and I saw three long gashes on the back of his hand, seeping blood. I shook my head, trying to fight against the onslaught of tears. Why was I always crying?

“Az... god…I’m so sorry.” I took his hand and closed my eyes and the shadows swept over his hand and I heard a low grunt of pain from Azriel and when I opened my eyes, the scars were gone.

“How did you…” Azriel trailed off and I let go of his hand and backed away. “I have the power of a High Lord remember?”

Azriel nodded and his wings disappeared.

“Tamlin is on his way here, Rhea.”

* * *

Seventeen books later, and not one way on how to break a mating bond.

Tamlin was in the Nigh Court, demanding for Rhysand’s presence. I wouldn’t go though. I was never going to lay eyes on him again. Rhys told me he would deal with Tamlin. I did not know of what he would do, and I didn’t care I belonged to no one. And if Tamlin thought he could try to reclaim me, he had another thing coming his way. I walked over to the pit where Bryaxis was imprisoned and flew down, walking through the dark cavern until I paused and looked down to see what I had stepped in.

Keir’s remaining eye.

I took off my shoe and wiped it on the wall and then put it back on my foot and walked on.

“Bryaxis?”

_Hello, lovely female._

I smiled, walking forward. “Had your fun with your play-thing?”

_It was a pleasure to rip into him for what he did to you._

I made sure the ground was dry before sitting down on it, legs crossed. “Is he dead?”

_He is wishing for death right now. It will not come fast or quick for him though. He will suffer, for decades, if he survives that long._

I felt his shadows against my cheek, stroking softly. I closed my eyes and sent my shadows out, seeking him and stroked his shadows and they shuddered.

_You are a strange female, Rhea._

“Why is that?”

_Everyone does not come in to my prison, for fear of meeting me. You fly in every day, and talk with me, tell me of your secrets, doubts, memories, feelings. You comfort me, I have resided in this prison for most of my existence, and no one has ever been in my presence without cowering in fear._

“There is nothing to be afraid of.”

Quiet laughter. _Monsters should not care. We deserve nothing but hatred and death._

I reached up with my hand and caressed the shadows against my cheek. I looked up, into the shadows, where Bryaxis was. I couldn’t see him, for I knew he thought of himself as a monster. The creature of nightmares. “Then how is it you care for me?”. Bryaxis was silent after that.

* * *

I had to summon the ancient dark god. I had to imprison it. If it really was as dangerous as Tamlin’s grandfather and Bryaxis made it out to be, it had to be imprisoned.

I flew miles out of Velaris, going far away, until I was sure I was a safe distance away and then I did what Bryaxis told me. I sat down on the ground, reaching out with my mind, searching for that bond Bryaxis had told me about.

I was nearly about to give up, when I sensed a bond. I pulled on it, reaching down the bond, and nearly recoiled. Such power from the other side of the bond. I forced myself to sink into it again and suddenly I hit something mentally.

_Hello female._

_Who are you?_

_Savitr, little Fae. You were the one to free me. I thank you, but I will not be imprisoned again._

_Well, its not up to you, Savitr._

_If I am to be imprisoned, then it is up to me. You are extraordinary, heir of Rhysand. I admire you, for what you have been through. But, if you do not let me be, I will end your life._

_And if you do not let me imprison you, you will die._

_I am beyond life and death. I am infinite. I have no use for Fae. I will wipe your kind from this earth and will do the same to humans. The old monsters will roam the earth once more and I will have free reign._

_Why don’t you put a face to the name?_

He was silent, and I thought he had gone away until I felt a presence behind me.

I turned around.

It was Savitr.

* * *

He was almost _double_ my height. He towered over me, even taller than Rhys, or Azriel or Cassian. He was like a vengeful giant. He had pure white-silver hair and his eyes gleamed a steel grey that shone. He wasn’t broad like Cassian or Azriel, he was much leaner but still was muscular. His fingers were tipped with iron talons and a black sword was strapped to his back in some sort of sheath.

Shadows danced under his pale skin, writhing under his skin. I paled as I remembered what the shadows had whispered to me long ago.

_A male with the knowledge of shadows will be your bane._

I had asked Azriel when we had first met, if he was my bane. It had never been Azriel.

But Savitr.

His clothing was nothing of elegance. Almost, like he didn’t care about his physical appearance. But the power that rolled off him in waves…he wasn’t High Fae. He was something much more dangerous and powerful.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, little shadow-singer” he said, his mouth curving into a smile. There was nothing deceiving or mocking about it. It was sincere. Which made me instantly distrust him. “Walk with me, little Fae?” Savitr offered his arm to me and I hesitated before taking it. The talons on his hands were terrifying but they didn’t touch me. “So, tell me” said Savitr, walking us by a beautiful lake, “why did you jump into my prison?”. I smiled. “To be honest, I was curious to see if the legend about stealing the High Lord’s power was true.” Savitr laughed, it was deep and low. “Curiosity is an oddity that Fae were blessed with, but it has its ups and downs. Thank you for freeing me, little one.”

I looked ahead. “Had I known I’d be releasing an ancient dark god, I probably would have reconsidered jumping in.” I realised in that moment how weak I was in physical standards. Savitr was a giant in height compared to me. He had metallic talons and a sword that was longer than my entire body. With his power…he could wipe me from the earth in a second. “I was the one to pass the knowledge of shadow-magic on to Fae” he told me, and I did my best to keep up with his long strides, even though our arms were linked. “I am the first shadow-singer. I passed the knowledge to Fae, but very few have ever mastered it. Your friend…Azriel, he managed it, as did you. Which makes both of you very special.”

I looked up at him which was hard. I had to strain my neck. “If you are trying to subtly imply that Azriel and I will help you kill all Fae and humans, you will be disappointed.”

Savitr’s arm tightened around mine and my bones nearly shattered. “Do you think I need the help of _Fae?_ I could wipe all Fae and humans from this earth without breaking a sweat, Rhea.” “So, why wait? Why have you not killed us all off already?”

Savitr stopped, and his hand went under my chin and tilted my head up. “I want an ancient weapon. Your grandfather hid it somewhere. You are of Night Court blood. Find the sword and when I kill all Fae and humans, I may spare your life and the lives of the people you love.” I tilted my head, confused. “If your so powerful, why don’t you just march in and take it?”

Savitr’s hand went down to my waist and I held back the cry of pain as he tightened his grip ever so slightly. “Certain wards prevent me. Bring me the sword, and I will let you live. You have my word. Ignore what the shadows tell you about me. Ignore what Bryaxis says or the dead High Lord of the Spring Court. If you hand me my sword by the time Winter Solstice comes, I will let you live.”

And Savitr disappeared.


	27. Chapter 27

What the hell could I do?

A Dark God, Savitr, was going to bring apart the end of the Fae and Human races, and nothing was going to change that. But he was willing to let me live, if I gave him some sword that belonged to him. I had gone immediately to Bryaxis and had asked for more information on him.

_It is said that he was the first life on this world, before humans, before Fae, before everything. That he created humans and Fae, but they did not fulfil his expectations. It is said he waited until the right time in history to strike, to create enough monsters that would feast upon the remains of the dead. He is more powerful than the Three ever were. Koschei, the Bone Carver, Stryga, they were nothing compared to the Dark God._

I honestly didn’t know what to do. So, I did what any female would do.

I ratted Savitr out to my High Lord.

_“You freed a Dark God?”_

Rhys’s expression was absolutely priceless. I collapsed into the couch, sighing. “Yes, you can ground me, take away all the things I hold dear to me, but how do we stop Savitr?” Rhys sank into the couch. “I honestly don’t know how we can. I have heard of Savitr. He was the First.”

“He said he gifted Fae with the language of shadows” I told Rhys, “he wanted to see would Az and I join him, after the apocalypse. He wants this world to be cleansed.” Rhys covered his face with his hands. “Rhea…this is bad. Very bad. How are we supposed to fight against him?”. I hissed through my teeth. “Savitr made me an offer.”

That got his attention. His head snapped up, eyes narrowed. _“What offer?”_

I leaned back into the couch. “Apparently there’s a sword that belongs to him in the Night Court. He told me, if I bring that to him before the Winter Solstice, he will grant mercy to me, and me only. I think loved ones, I’d have to beg for, but he seemed willing to let me off the hook. He has a soft spot for me since I’m a shadow-singer I think. He wanted Az and I to join us.”

Rhys stood, pacing the room. “We could use that to our advantage. If Savitr wants you and Azriel to join him, that’s his weakness. We have to find that sword and use it for leverage. It can’t be any normal sword if he’s willing to put off mass death. He needs us to find it for him. If its in the Night Court, it has to be in the records. But, I have to tell the other High Lords. If Savitr really will kill all Fae…they have to know.”

I nodded, feeling guilty as hell. “Wait…will Tamlin be there?” Rhys nodded. “We had a…chat. Long story short, he no longer will pursue you.” I raised an eyebrow at his statement, but he didn’t continue it. I decided some stories are meant to be short, not long. “I will send word to Thesan, Helion, Kallias, Tamlin, Eris and Tarquin immediately about this matter” said Rhys and winnowed out of the room.

I knew what I had to do. This was my problem. No one else’s. Everyone was going to die because I let Savitr free. So, I needed a spell that could bind a creature of nightmares into a Fae body.

* * *

  
  


Stealing the Book of Breathings had been a difficult task, but not impossible.

I traced the spine with my finger-tips and reached out with my mind.

_OPEN._

My power blasted into the book and the clasp broke and I looked inside. I shut the book and flew down into the pit, running, into the middle of the cavern where Bryaxis resided.

“Bryaxis? Bryaxis, I need your help.”

_What do you require of me?_

I swallowed. “I need to bind you into a Fae body.”


	28. Chapter 28

I had a risky plan. Well an absolute ridiculous plan, but it was a plan all the same.

“While I was in the Autumn Court” I explained to Rhys, “Eris told me of an old Fae who lived in the Winter Mountains. His name is Aonghas, it is said he lived to see the Bone Carver and his siblings arrive on this world. If there’s anyone who knows of how to fight Savitr, it’s Aonghas.”

Rhys raised his head. He looked tired, dark circles around his eyes, his shoulders slumping. “Do you know more of Aonghas?”. I hesitated. “It is said Aonghas has power over the shadows.” “So, he’s a shadow-singer.” I shook my head. “Not quite…Aonghas is a shadow-singer…but he is not. It is said Aonghas was _born_ from the shadows.” “And from the way you are suggesting this…I suppose you are willing to go find Aonghas to find a way to defeat Savitr.”

I walked over to Rhys, kneeling before him and he looked at me, startled. “This is my fault” I told him, “Savitr being released, its _my fault._ Let me go to the Winter Mountains with Bryaxis and we will find a way to imprison Savitr.” “And how exactly is Bryaxis going to accompany you?” “I bound him to a Fae body using a spell from the Book of Breathings.” That made all weariness disappear from his face. _“You bound him to a Fae body?”_

I stood, running a hand through my blue-black hair. “I’m powerful, more powerful than anyone realises. I have your power, the language of shadows, the power of a High Lord, and I am of the Winter Court. I can hold my own. I am done with being weak. I brought Savitr back, and I will be the one to go to the Winter Mountains and find Aonghas and make him tell me how to get rid of Savitr. The Winter Solstice is in four weeks. Winter is coming, and I will not stand by and watch all Fae die because of me. Bryaxis is powerful, a creature of nightmares. He will accompany me and watch my back.”

Rhys was silent and then: "I suppose I won’t be able to change your mind.” “No. And if you send anyone after me, I will never set foot in Velaris again.” Rhys’s eyes widened. “Everyone thinks I’m weak, but I’m not. I will not let Savitr kill everyone I care about. I’m leaving tonight with Bryaxis, and I will return with a way to stop Savitr.”

* * *

I could bring myself to say goodbye. Instead, I left a note, in the townhouse.

_To the Inner Circle,_

_Thank you for everything. I will not forget the debts I owe each and every one of you. I will find a way to save us all._

_Do not follow me._

_Rhea._

It had been simple but had been torture to write.

I had left a more personal one for Azriel.

_Az,_

_You have been a doting uncle to me. I write this letter to you, so you may understand in some way, what I am doing. I am the cause of Savitr’s rise, but I will be his downfall._

_Do not follow me. If you love me, don’t follow. The Winter Mountains are treacherous._

_I love you,_

_Rhea._

I knew that Azriel wouldn’t understand, but I tried to make him.

“Are we going?”. I looked at Bryaxis, who was bound into a Fae form. He was taller than me and had a similar physique to Azriel’s. His hair was even darker than black, for it seemed to be made of shadows. His face was angular, and his eyes… He didn’t have eyes. Only empty sockets filled with writhing shadows. His ears were pointed like a High Fae’s and his power was unrestrained, untamed. Everything seemed to pull away in his path, trees, flowers…even the night-sky seemed to have darkened. Bryaxis had no weapons, no armour, for he was a weapon.

“Do you know the path to the Winter Mountains?”. Bryaxis bowed his head in a nod. “Hold on to me.” I took his arm. It was cold. I held on to it tightly and his other hand gripped my waist and then shadows gathered around us and I felt horribly cold in that moment, as the shadows tightened around me, the coldness seeping into my bones, I closed my eyes.

When I opened them, we were on the Winter Mountains.


	29. Chapter 29

The Winter Mountains were full of monsters, we soon learned.

Much had passed in the time that Bryaxis had been free, and he had not known of the creatures that roamed the mountains. We encountered the first within half an hour of our arrival. It had been a winged creature with scales covering its body, its head scarred. Its wings had been bat-like but mutilated, and it had had terrible claws.

Bryaxis had merely looked at it and it had screeched in agony and had fallen dead. I was glad for his company.

“Where is Aonghas?” I asked, gripping a large stone and hauling myself up, hiding the agony in my muscles from the climb. Bryaxis had it easy, with his muscular physique. He merely pulled himself up without tiredness. I forced myself to do the same, but I looked forward to the time of our break. “He lives at the top of the mountain, hidden by magic” replied Bryaxis, brushing snow away from a rock and then started climbing again.

“Why can’t we use shadow-travel?” I asked, wanting nothing more than to turn into shadows and get to the top of the mountains. “The second we set foot on this mountain, I felt my magic weaken. Aonghas has put wards in place to prevent travel by power. However, I am a creature of nightmares, I am not of any Court, so I can use my magic freely. If I use my powers too much, I will tire.”

The freezing cold temperatures nipped at me, and I was glad for being of Winter Court blood. But I saw Bryaxis a few times shiver and felt bad for a few seconds about asking him to accompany me on this mission, then thought otherwise.

Suddenly my foot slipped on the ice and I cursed, gripping on to the stone fiercely, trying to find a setting. I found one and when I climbed up a rock, I saw my hand had a deep cut on its palm and had left blood on the rock.

“Rhea! Get the blood off the rock now!". I looked up at Bryaxis, confused, and then I heard a roar nearby and realised what Bryaxis meant.

The creatures on the Winter Mountains could smell my blood.

* * *

We managed to get half way before I got tackled and sent flying.

I heard Bryaxis’s shout before darkness closed in, and I could sense his power lashing out, trying to get inside the prison the creature had entombed me in. I grabbed blindly at the creature and caught on to something. I yanked at it and heard the creature roar in pain and felt blood drip down my hand. It felt scaly and realised I must have pulled off its scaly armour. My shadows attacked, and I let my claws out and swiped at the creature and it hissed and I yelped when something caught on to my leg and I lashed out with every piece of magic I had.

The wall crumbled into ash and Bryaxis stood there, and the creature turned into dust. Bryaxis grabbed me by the arm, scanned me over his with shadow eyes to see if I was injured and then once he was satisfied I was unharmed, he spoke.

“We will rest here tonight” he said and sat down, and shadows rose and covered the gaping hole in the wall. With a wave of my hand, I made sticks appear and then I set them on fire. The shadows cast by the fire bounced off the cave wall, giving an eerily glow to the cave. Bryaxis sat against the cave wall, eyes on the flames, shadows dancing around him. “Thank you” I said, and he looked at me. In his Fae form, most would say he wasn’t a very attractive male. He was of average looks. Angular cheekbones, sharp eye sockets filled with shadows, and hair made of shadows.

“Have you unlocked all of your abilities that you inherited from your father?” asked Bryaxis and I shook my head. “Some require training to practise frequently. Some come…naturally.” I waved my hand again and the fire roared even brighter. “What will happen when Savitr is imprisoned again? Will I be sent back to my prison?”

I looked at Bryaxis. “Why would you want to go back?”. “Am I allowed to return to my original form?”. I nodded. “Once Savitr is in prison again, whatever you wish, I will grant.”

And the next day, we continued our dangerous journey.


	30. Chapter 30

I knew Bryaxis was feeling the full brunt of the cold. He wouldn’t say anything, or complain, something that I respected, but even the creature of nightmares was having a hard time dealing with the cold. Each day was a horrendous climb, rocks were unsteady, not able to find grip, the constant danger of winged creatures that could be flying about. I had tried several times to use shadow-travel, but it was like there was a block in my mind that allowed me to access it.

I really had to learn how to winnow.

Bryaxis killed several creatures by the time one week had past. Each day, I cut my palm to lure out the monsters and instead of turning them into dust, Bryaxis would kill them by hand and when we would find a cave, I’d roast it over a fire.

We had two weeks to reach the top, and to get back down. We were nearly at the top, when we had a major step back. We had been climbing, and that was the day the cold got to Bryaxis. We had been two days away from reaching the top, when Bryaxis lost his grip and fell down into the swirling snowstorm.

I let go of the mountain. The wind rushed at me, and I fought the urge to scream. Snow blocked my vision for mere seconds, and I let my wings out. I fought against the air, the snow, and the fact that my brain was screaming at me that we were going die. Bryaxis was falling, and I had no idea what had happened to him. I was getting closer to Bryaxis, but he was falling too fast. Even if I managed to catch hold of him, he was too heavy. And where would we land? The impact would be too much. I banished all thoughts and forced myself to go faster.

My fingers slid around Bryaxis’s arm and I screamed in agony as my wings strained against the sudden weight of a fully grown male. My wings veered side-ways and my side slammed into the mountain and knocked the breath out of me. My wings were torn as the rough surface of the mountain and I forced myself to keep my wings up. Bryaxis was too heavy, and my muscles were weakening.

“Bryaxis, please, you have to help!” I pleaded but his eyes were closed and even in the moment of certain death, my right arm gripping a jutting out rock, my left hand closed around his arm, I could see his face had a blueish tinge.

I had to get him out of the cold.

* * *

When Bryaxis awoke, he looked confused. I handed him a plate of cooked meat that had been seared from the fire and nodded towards it. “You need to eat” I said but Bryaxis was staring at the plate. Then he looked at me, like I was supposed to realise something. “Bryaxis, don’t be fussy, you have to eat.” Bryaxis hesitated and then picked up a large piece of charred meat and placed it in his mouth. He chewed it slowly and then looked down at himself and I flushed and looked away.

“Rhea…why am I covered in animal skins?”. I coughed, not able to look at him. “Your skin was literally blue. I had to get you out of the clothes and I hunted down a couple of animals with fur and skinned them for your…blankets.” I couldn’t look at Bryaxis. The embarrassment of the fact I had been forced to undress him was unbearable.

“Thanks” said Bryaxis, his voice sounding strange and I nodded.

Bryaxis finished off the meat and then I gave him a glass of water, ice I had melted in a small tin above the fire. I couldn’t look at him after what I had done, but it had been a necessity. I didn’t mention it, but his right hand had been nearly black, and it had taken all my power to restore it to his old way. I heard rustling and Bryaxis stood and without looking at him, I passed him his now dry warm clothes and he took them silently.

And they had to do more climbing now.

Great.

* * *

The next morning, the fire was still burning. I awoke, had half of the rest of the creature I had roasted for dinner, and went outside and looked up the mountain. We had nearly been there. Now we were nearly at the bottom. Caves were found all over the mountain, but finding an uninhabited one was difficult, especially if the creature was in hiding. I looked back inside the cave. Bryaxis was still asleep, dressed in Illyrian clothing. I averted my eyes and looked back at the mountain.

If Bryaxis wasn’t with me, I could have taken the wild chance that I could fly to the top. If Bryaxis hadn’t been with me, I could have been killed already by the monsters roaming the mountain, and if I hadn’t been with Bryaxis, he would have died. We had to get a move on as soon as possible. I waited for Bryaxis to wake, knowing he needed it. When he awoke, he ate the rest of the meat and looked up at me. “We have to speed up” he said, “time is precious, and we lost a great deal because of me.” Bryaxis stood but when he made to leave the cave, I grabbed his arm and he looked down at me. “if you feel, cold, tired, hungry” I told him, voice hard, “tell me. You could have died. You’re in a Fae body now, it has limits.”

Bryaxis walked on, silent, and I wondered if his ego had been slightly hurt at the fact a female had saved his life. Not many males appreciated that. But Bryaxis wasn’t technically a male…was he? I decided not to dwell on the topic. Making up for the lost progress was difficult. Climbing quickly was dangerous. If we grabbed at the wrong rock, we’d fall off the mountain. And if I fell, I couldn’t use my wings. They had stung like a bitch after I saved Bryaxis, and blood had soaked the feathers.

I kept an eye on Bryaxis, looking for any sign of fatigue, or blue skin, but he seemed fine. I still made sure though that he went further though. I was having problems. My left foot was bad, and no matter how much I concentrated on healing it, it would act up when I started climbing. Walking…it was stiff, but we couldn’t let any more priceless time go by, so I decided to keep my mouth shut.

* * *

Bryaxis soon got the hand of climbing. Me? Not so much. The pain in my foot was unbearable when climbing. I eventually told Bryaxis who was fuming at the fact I had remained silent.

“Rhea, if you’re hurt, this could be a major problem. What if your leg had given out when climbing? _I don’t have wings!” ._ The anger in Bryaxis’s voice made my eyes widen.

Bryaxis was in front of me in mere seconds and I gasped, and he glared down at me, but there was something about the shadows in his eye sockets…

“Show me it” he demanded, and I got down on the ground, taking off my boot and sock and Bryaxis crouched down and examined it. My foot was black with bruises, and sensitive around my ankle. Shadows wrapped around it like a protective layer and I watched Bryaxis as he commanded his shadows to protect it. The shadows were cold but gentle as they wrapped around it. Once Bryaxis was satisfied, he helped me up. “Thank you” I breathed, and he stared down at me, and I was surprised as hell when his hand lifted to my face to stroke my cheek. He stopped abruptly, dropping his hand and turned and walked out of the cave.

What had that been?

* * *

Climbing was much easier after what Bryaxis did. It felt stiff, but I was faster at climbing. But the cold eventually got to me too. The higher we climbed, the colder it got and soon I found difficulty with breathing in deeply. Bryaxis wouldn’t say anything, but I knew he was having trouble breathing too. Within two days, we were nearly at the spot where Bryaxis had fallen, nearly at the top, when suddenly Bryaxis stopped. I stopped and stayed silent until I heard a low growl.

Shit.

I looked up in time to see a creature with white hair and red eyes crouched on the rocks above us attack. I closed my eyes as dust rained down on top of us as Bryaxis killed it.

We continued climbing again.

* * *

After several days, we reached the top, and were worn out. Bryaxis had a long gash on his leg from where a creature had surprised him, and its claws had run through his leg. Within seconds, he had killed it, but the damage had been done. He had refused to stop though, as we were mere half an hour away from the top, but by the time we had reached the top, Bryaxis was weak, and his leg had been dripping blood on to the mountain, which surely would attract more monsters.

For some reason, my powers wouldn’t work when we reached the top, and I soon realised that Aonghas most likely had put up stronger wards. Bryaxis had his arm around my neck and I was doing my best to support his weight, but I couldn’t handle his weight. He was too heavy, and he couldn’t keep his eyes open. Things were bad.

_“Aonghas!”_

Silence answered me. Bryaxis was deathly pale, and I couldn’t afford to play an old Fae’s game.

_“Aonghas! If you don’t show up within the next ten seconds and my friend dies, I am going to hunt you down and feed you piece by piece to all the creatures on this mountain, you son of a bitch!”_

A weak laugh left Bryaxis.

“What do you want with me?”

I turned around and saw the strangest Fae I had ever met. Aonghas actually was _old._ His hair was passing his shoulders, and his beard nearly touched his stomach. He was bent over with age, his skin wrinkled, but I saw the Fae ears. His clothes were tattered and faded with age. He held a wooden staff in his right hand that had ancient symbols carved on to it.

“Please, he needs help” I begged and Aonghas cat his eyes over Bryaxis and nodded.

“Follow me.”


End file.
